.noobthenick.

2010-11-27T01:46:00.002+08:00

the most stressful point of my life? when it comes to project work, not the percentage of it but the teammates that have landed on them. yes they are like ticking time bombs, to stop them from detonating i've to cut the wires or swallow all of their bombs. these are people that you don't want to be friends with, let alone hang out with them. they can be your acquaintances or your Facebook friends but please don't get close to them, they might leech or "rape" your work performances. it's the same when it comes to the army, the phrase also known as "chao keng", its not unusual to see this genre of people in your platoon. sometimes, they could be your buddy, and that's a nightmare. they can share absolutely an abundance of knowledge to the naive ones, and your reaction would be like: "are you serious? wow! you are too good to be true! you can dig the shell scrape in less than one hour?!"

the truth is, they never ever been to outfield, due to their "i-think-i-am" problems.

i think i am unable to participate due to my bad stomach pain.

i think i am unable to participate due to wrist pain, this pain that pain.

and the list goes on...

get a life, "chao keng" warriors. your parents must be pretty pretty disappointed in you. LOL.

recently i have been pretty angst when i see this category of people, their sight irks me.

the deathly hallows is definitely worth a second watch (:

my birthday is coming.

2010 is coming to an end.

i am still single.

friends around me are getting married year by year.

i can still kick a soccer ball and my idol is cristiano ronaldo.

i got a gold for ippt.

my journey with the air force is an exciting one, with a lot of faces coming in and out of my life, i've learnt a lot from them too.

girls nowadays are going for ugly yet wealthy guys.

guys are doing the reverse psychology to spite the girls back

what for?

LOL

2010-11-25T21:42:00.003+08:00

are all women really fanatic about hygiene or housework? i seriously don't know why. even my previous commanders in bmt aren't as fussy as my mom. she keeps talking about household and tidiness and blah blah, please please just stop. i am turning 20 and yet i have to put up with such nonsense, i am already troubled with my own problems at work and with myself. i am seriously screwed up. the only consolation is my pilot interview, even so, the results would only be out on monday! my mom keeps mopping the floor and vacuuming and shouting at me over a strand of hair in the house! do you think she is being over sensitive? phew oh my goodness, this is too much. so much for listening skills, i can't even stand that 100db for more than 5 minutes. its worst enough that i have no room of my own, no privacy. i can't expect to hide in the store room forever.

if my wife is as fussy as my mom, may god take over this life of mine.

i know everyone likes living in a clean and comfortable environment, our house is definitely more cleaner than our neighbors' combined together. so why complain? looks i am going to kiss my weekends in december goodbye already. i deserved it, but please don't add any more fuel to my life already.

i go to work everyday with this sense of fear, fear that i might be out of course due to any stupidity i might create at work. i am getting more and more timid, and this isn't the real me. i want to have more guts, i want to overcome myself, i want to lead people, i want to be an inspiration. and when i die, i want them to remember who i was.

i need to have balls of steel. if i want to grab that girl's number, i will not hesitate nor chicken out. i will approach her and be a gentlemen. but that's not the point. the point is - i need to take charge of my life and not let others say or comment on how i should lead myself.

my mom is too obsessed with the household, no wonder my family is going to bits and pieces. my brother who is struggling with academic doesn't seem to appreciate school, and she keeps reprimanding him without even trying to help him. my dad just sticks to the laptop all day long. second bro is a pure dumb fag who doesn't give a shit about what family is, and all he cares about is himself and money.

sometimes, can i still worship and praise him despite all these? i know god is bigger than all these, i know i know i know. but i don't seem to have this connection with him, its either the router's damaged or my faith has been dropping like flies. i need god's grace to be upon me all the time, i am imperfect. i need god's mercy to be upon my tongue and mind. i need god to be protect me against evil. sometimes i will think that the devil is actually me.

crap i am having so much thoughts running through that i am gonna break the commando's timing.

now here comes part 2: mom versus dad - over the slightest thing again. why can't there be co-operation? why can't there be love?

do i still want to get married? do i still want to have kids?

i think i might have to think more than two times.

Lost in time.

2010-11-14T21:46:00.002+08:00

It doesn't feel right especially when all your army buddies (almost all the guys from my mobile contact) have to book in on a Sunday night. Pondering on the difference between "This is bad" or "This is good", I seriously don't know which one I belong to. It's almost a month now being a half civilian and half military-man. I have so much time in the world now to spend, but on what?

1. Worship

2. Youth Camp

3. Fitness training

4. Gaming

I don't know how to begin on the reflection of worship. I need inspiration.

2010-11-13T02:42:00.002+08:00

What I am thinking now, is a record that I wanna break. 7 days and counting... Let's see where this will take me to.

God willing.

BMW @ Marina Bay Sands!

2010-11-12T00:15:00.004+08:00

This is for you Marcus Lim!~

* Credits to the photographers who were at MBS.

Lan lan lan!

2010-11-10T21:47:00.005+08:00

Sinong & Joe's blessed wedding!

Lost in the streets of Sichuan.

Choy's birthday celebration!

I was browsing through my older posts in Facebook and saw a phrase on my wall which stated: "Something special is gonna happen this week, something big." Yes, this phrase was typed by me last week, and following after that something big really happened - I got charged. How coincidental.

The situation is starting to become neutral as the days pass, however my physical fitness is also starting to drop rapidly due to not exercising for almost 3 weeks already. Soon it will become a crisis for me if I don't start to do something, or run.

Another 3 weeks or more before my brother Marcus is returning home, I think by that time our soccer skills should be able to thrash him completely by the rate he is enjoying life there. HAHA. I seriously hope he remembers ( fill in the blank ) us!

Praise

2010-11-09T23:11:00.002+08:00

I spent some time reading on the importance of praise. It's simple, praising God wherever we are. It could be at work, at school or even in the army. As for myself, I praised God in my sleep (slept almost the entire day at work) with my Ipod. And it's the bad times that my praise for Him should be even greater, because it is a source of power to battle against my worries and struggles with my ill-discipline and the consequences that have yet to be confirmed against me.

Ade suggested that I should come up with a list of prayer items. Cool.

Praise God in times of good and evil and bad.

Well I got busted, I got scolded, I am staying low for some time. Mom and Dad are still ignorant of it. God is still with me and He will pull me through out from all these, I just know it.

Indeed it was a lesson learnt for me: Don't and never be caught again, be shrewd and wise.

I will be back.

Memoirs

2010-11-03T00:33:00.004+08:00

2010-11-02T19:47:00.003+08:00

Everybody wants to be a record-breaker, to show others that they are capable of achieving things that are not of normality. Just like the 1000 sit-ups, no one would ever thought of doing it, not to mentioning completing it in less than 3 hours. And so I sat at the canteen wondering to myself: "I wanna do something big, something memorable within this 3 months. Something positive, something special (Not slashing people at Downtown East nor become a infamous rapist.)".

A book named "The Kite Runner" was bought around last year, and it was put at one of my drawers to collect dusts. Since Friday, I've started to read it and on my way to completion by tonight. A series of emotions rushed through my head as the pages flipped, creating images that formed a movie as the author described and wrote the life in Afghanistan, how the characters portrayed the definition of betrayal, love and broken relationships in this book. To be honest, I had to hold my tears while reading through the last few pages of it, my army mates were surrounding me at the reading area.

Maybe I could use reading to start improving on my grammar and vocabulary. Doing pull-ups has also been one the recent disciplines that I have started to cultivate. Due to huge amount of food that I'm gobbling ever since I stepped into CMPB, IPPT could be a major problem for me.

I am thinking of a topic to write in my blog, something with a sense of humor yet bringing out something that is real and honest. How about the army? My spiritual walk?

Tuesday was supposed to be 'Meatball Day' at Ikea, also my first encounter with those delicious swedish meatballs. The long queue was worth it, and their restaurant had this very organized yet accessible system for consumers to choose their appetizers, main courses and desserts. Thumbs up for that!~

But that wasn't the main point. I received a text from her prompting me if I was at Ikea. Amazed, I looked around and saw Aunt Dawn and Danielle having their lunch too. What a coincidence. I hope God would throw me more surprises like this. (:

2010-10-27T21:14:00.002+08:00

Yesterday I ran 7.5 kilometers to burn off all the calories that I stored since Monday, with a timing of 40 minutes. Yes I am determined and motivated to maintain my standards and not let this 3 month-period take away my physical and combat fitness. It has also gave me another inspiration to start my own personal record: swim 100km in 3 months and complete 1000 hours of sleep at work everyday.

It's a pity that I cannot join the full marathon this year, but that won't stop me from running.

A goal to achieve, and records to break. How can I possibly let this 3 months go to waste? The thought of getting a driving license has been hindered by my lack of funds in the bank. As an officer-to-be cadet, I need to rack my brains for a win-win solution for my pocket and time.

My brothers, oh my brothers, I have not been in contact with you all since I stepped into OCS. Now that I am finally released from there, I didn't have to beg for more time or whatsoever. In fact, I have all the time in the world now! Please please meet up and play lan or eat Macdonald's or risk or monopoly deal, anything will do, I wanna be in all of your presence. It does sound a lil cliche, but oh what the heck.

Marcus will be coming back to Singapore soon, Alan will be touching base either tomorrow or Friday. (:

Nice!

As for me, I am waiting for my pilot interview and eye screening. Okay here's the catch:

1. If I do get through everything, and before going to Australia I have to go for this spine scan. If the results shown that my spine is a bit out of shape, I would be down PES and become a clerk for the next 2 years.

2. If I fail the pilot interview, I would wait for the next OCS batch intake and become an Air Force Engineer.

Life after OCS

2010-10-25T21:36:00.002+08:00

The transition from BMT to OCS has been full of ups and downs for me, leaving behind memories that will only be kept in my heart. Being a recruit certainly is better as compared to an officer cadet, because the discipline is not as stringent and all you have to do in Tekong is listen and wait for instructions. In SAFTI, marching is compulsory everywhere inside the camp! Regimentation is indeed troublesome and there were times I whined and kept complaining, but in this two weeks, I realized that this cultivated more self-discipline in myself. Lesser procrastination, more time for area cleaning and doing journaling every night, however I still couldn't escape the Facebook temptation.

Being one of the few selected to come OCS is an honor and privilege. I think its because of the pressure and being among the best soldiers enabled myself to score an IPPT gold for the first time ever too.

I completed many firsts in that place; chemical warfare, tower run, 5m confidence pool dip and navigation. Hotel wing was where I stayed, and my wing commander was a very influential man. He made the wing do something that none of us would ever believe we can do it - 1000 sit ups. Yes, we did 1000 sit ups in about 2 and a half hours. Of course, the pain was excruciating on our butts and backs while bathing, super memorable. Everyone received a certificate to compliment our achievement. My friends from other wing could do nothing but envy at us. It definitely inspired to yearn to do more, what else? 100 pull ups? 100km swim?

"If you believe in it, you will get to see it." LTC Fred Cheong, Hotel Wing.

Sadly, I've been posted out from OCS to Air Force Recruitment Center. The journey that I am going to embark now has taken another direction, the calling of a pilot. Whether or not I make it depends on the upcoming interview.

I wonder what's going to be in store for me next...

2010-09-26T17:05:00.002+08:00

This is it, its the final countdown to my first ever Pass Out Parade at the Marina Bay platform! I am worrying that the amount of pictures taken that day would be little, but wait, I don't even have a camera. pfft.

I actually penned the deal to sign on with the Air Force, not sure whether this is the right move I've made, I just hope its not a regretful decision made.

So many things, yet with only one week left ticking on my watch, I am seriously starting to ponder where my next phase of army life is gonna take me. Hopefully, I won't become a rifleman.

If you are thinking that I have become a nicer person, think again. I have gone back to where I was in the past.

What's wrong?

2010-09-11T02:36:00.002+08:00

There's something terrible going on within myself. I'm am very sure I know what it is, but I can't seem to take it out from me. Venom has arrived at my doorstep, devouring my good flesh every single minute.

Grenade!

2010-09-10T01:03:00.002+08:00

"Grenade loud loud!" - Wrong demonstration. I thought I could heave a huge sign of relief as all the high-key events had finally come to an end. And yet, I was wrong. Due to the heavy downpour on Wednesday, the entire live grenade throwing had to be postponed.

Thankfully, I passed my second IPPT! I can't boast much about my chin-ups yet, it's pretty half screwed-up-but-yet-somehow I did it, 6 pull ups in total. I shall not mention the rest of the stations, its a waste of time. Just when I thought IPPT was already jialat enough, the next event was introduced during the start of the week - Standard Obstacle Course. So there were a few stations that were idiot-proof, but yet there were two stations that took away my palms. The blisters and burns definitely screwed up my mood this whole week.

During my BMT life, the rationales behind every punishment or every procedure gave me a clearer picture of why I had to go through all these. Seriously, the physique and mental strength have increased. Though it's a positive sign, the only negative thing is, once we are out from our BMT life, everything goes back to normal.

Credits and kudos to those who were always there for me during this period of my life. I really appreciate it from the bottom of my butt... I mean heart. You guys are just awesome. (:

2010-09-03T19:46:00.001+08:00

We come from different walks of life, realizing that we have the same goal to strive for - Pass Out Parade (POP).

Counting down with only 28 days left, this is it my fellow recruits, this is it.

Okay its dinner time! I am back home people...

Out-fielder and marksman.

2010-08-29T10:49:00.002+08:00

Life in BMT has been increasingly getting interesting, especially after the outfield camp. To be honest, there are some recruits who don't like me and vice versa. Even so, it's gonna be two months, so I would have to just suck my thumb and move on with it. Listening has become another plus point for myself, especially when I seldom talk a lot inside camp. They would always entertain me with their jokes and stories, instead of the other way round.

Coming back to Singapore whenever I book out, I would never fail to walk alone in Cold Storage, my new hang out area. Few reasons would be to get stuffs for area cleaning and food that I want to learn to cook when I have more time for myself at home, and buy snacks to reward myself whenever a week is completed. I've also started to buy my own essentials like toiletries and household items for my parents.

Tomorrow would be my 12km route march, and then SIT test, which finally leads to my IPPT.

If I pass...

HAHA

Back from confinement

2010-08-12T20:57:00.002+08:00

Two weeks from confinement in Tekong, and I am finally back to the Singapore shore. Instead of cheering and yelling those two words "book out" along with my section mates, my mode of celebration was much low profile, because I was reflecting the moments that happened throughout the adjustment period.

I could never forget that first day of enlistment, especially when my parents bade me farewell. At that very instance, I thought to myself: "Why am I on this island? What lies ahead? Why do I have that sexual organ?"

But it was through this period that I realized the meaning of home, a family, and what does it mean to cherish and appreciate friends around me. On the second or third night in camp, I broke into tears upon hearing my mom's voice. My buddy thought I was blowing my nose, because I was putting my head in the locker and preventing myself from being caught by him. Eventually I still confessed, to my entire section.

God was throughout with me the whole time, during punishments or whatever crap that I was gotten into, it seems like I wasn't caught for anything, for example not doing the standard push ups or executing the drills properly. Only one time however, I assumed that I left my swimming trunks lying around the bunk, I was punished for that. But eventually in the night, God revealed the truth - that swimming trunk wasn't mine, so apparently I took the blame for that particular section mate. -.-

Few days before booking out, I failed my IPPT test, and gotten into serious trouble. I was asking God if this is what He wanted me to go through, or I didn't enough determination to pull myself up. Yes, until now I can't even do one standard chin-up. At times, I was angry with God and I worried a lot, cause the next test was on the September 3rd. One more failure, and I am out of course. It's either I make it, or break it.

Recently many have been falling sick, but I was still in the pink of health except for muscle aches and sores. I underestimated God, I failed to realize that God was there to ensure that I could continue with training and not fall sick during the confinement period, so that I could book out and enjoy the time with my family and friends.

Thank you God for going through this whole thing with me. There's more to share, but lights out is at 2230.

Good night.

2010-07-26T13:21:00.002+08:00

What's my last wish before I enter army? - A simple yet happy family.

Fuck me. I can't wake up on time. I procrastinate. I plan outings and I cancelled. I make friends disappointed all the time. I can't seem to love people properly.

Now even as I prepare to enter, shit happened in the family.

No I don't blame God, I don't blame anyone. I blame myself for being a fucktard.

Thank You for all these, I need to grow in You. Thank You for the cross and the price You've paid.

Thank You for this beautiful exchange, my life for Yours.

2010-07-25T05:23:00.002+08:00

The greatest temptation of all, is lust. I need a breakthrough.

2010-07-23T01:47:00.002+08:00

Thank God it's Friday. I will be going jogging with my brother Teck Yi, follow which I will be meeting Kok Chye to get my army stuffs. You know something? I have not blogged about my daily activities for a long time, most of my posts are reflective thoughts and mostly crap.

I was browsing through some of my friends' blogs and I was quite impressed, especially posts on their daily acts of love towards people. Continue to keep up the good work! As I am typing this post, I seriously want to sleep, but my dad wants me to settle his Iphone software, and I am losing sleep over this. Is this a way of showing love to my dad? Seriously tired and a bit of agitated, but I hope he will appreciate this.

Food recently has been an anesthetic for me, as I've been getting the pre-army stress. Hershey's sundae pie, finger food, oreo chocolate bubble tea has been flowing through mind everyday! And yes, they are without fail in my stomach in every meal. Talk about fasting, I've never did it ever since the first day. Yes I am struggling with my own flesh.

I just realized I just volunteered to lead worship for this Saturday. I am not yet prepared!

Genting

2010-07-23T00:42:00.003+08:00

So suave even when looking at the menu

My first breakfast upon arriving at Genting!

My coolio brother!

A neat room partner

On the other hand... disappointed

Totally gay to the max

Inside the cable car

Don't mess with the cool kids

"First time sitting in the coach?"

As usual, acting cool and failing all the time

2010-07-22T15:37:00.002+08:00

The cactus that I've bought for my supervisor

I've to stand against the odds - Tekong Island

It's all in the mind, mind over body. As the days are nearing, I have not yet prepared myself for stormy seas ahead. But thankfully the trip away to Genting was exceptionally awesome, especially with my brother Teck Yi. Pictures have already been uploaded in the Facebook, so you can go take a look at some of my hot bods pictures (Apparently he posted some of my topless pictures in the hotel room).

Fun time's over, now it's time for war.

Oh yeah, I screwed compass test up, totally. But meeting up with the ATFKERS, sweet. Plus another secondary school mate Samuel Sim wrapped the day up for me.

awaken my heart, unveil my eyes

2010-07-17T01:38:00.002+08:00

A person who is driven by his feelings to achieve great things never lasts, and that person is none other than me. Procrastination is sweet, I can never get out of that. Will someone throw a long rope and get me out of this bottomless pit? I am starting to be afraid of the darkness inside.

I hate comments/criticism/taunts that discourage me, or to re-phrase, wake my idea up. I appreciate that some of you are trying to get me up and walk on the path of righteousness and just, and please continue to do that. Although at times, I may murmur some crude words under my breath, that's just because I cannot accept the fact that I need to change. I want to change, so please continue to hammer me with the correct thoughts to change my wrong thinking. Thanks a lot. If I need a breakthrough, I would need to break my ego first. Not egg.

I admire people who are straight forward, but when I meet these kind of people for the first time, and they say things such as "Oh my god, you mean you don't use tissue to wipe your mouth? That's disgusting."

At that very instance, you would wish that she was mute. But that's human nature I guess, that's my ego. I need to break it hard and really be humble if I want a breakthrough. All the thoughts of writing my future as the best right winger in loccw. It's total bullshit.

But ahhhh, it's for entertainment purposes, so I guess it shouldn't be a problem eh?

It's getting late, I need rest to prepare for today.

Good morning and night my friends.

2010-07-16T02:35:00.002+08:00

It's Friday, and counting down 13 days. I was walking around town with my two buddies in the evening just now, and thought to myself: "How time flies. Everyone is growing up." But whether I have grown a lot in maturity, that is only between God and myself.

I've always imagined going through an interview, and this question would be thrown at me: "Share something about yourself."

How would I answer this question? I don't know how to describe myself, for 19 years I have been living, and it feels like living inside this shell of mine. Who am I? What am I doing here on this earth? Life is like a "tap-and-go" concession card, with each day passing without any meaning in it. And here comes the next birthday cake, you blow the candles, and the next thing you know, you are one year closer to death.

Home is a place of comfort, where I can spend my time with my mom and dad, and brothers. But it seems my brothers don't seem to appreciate it, and their attitude is making life worst at home day by day. If I could, I would bring my parents out and live in another home, a home of mine. Home cooked food is the best a taste bud could ever tasted. Nowadays, young women of our generation can't even differentiate salt and sugar, looks like I am set for life on fast food restaurants. I want to learn cooking someday, depends on my procrastinating mood.

No, I am not being emo here. Just have the sudden urge to pour some of my thoughts.

Sometimes going to church is good, but going there without the correct mind is wrong. Yes the songs are good, the sermons are pleasant to the ears. But the thing is, not practicing it and listening countless of times can be annoying. It's just me. Yesterday, I was reading through my testimonial during my first mission trip during 2008. Now it's 2010, I am back to my old self. Inventing a time machine is useless.

What I need is a breakthrough.

simple gifts~

2010-07-15T01:19:00.002+08:00

Today I shown an act of love to some of my colleagues on my last day of work @ Building & Construction Authority. I bought "Thank You" cards and some chocolates for them, and a very nice cactus plant for one colleague whom I killed his previous cactus, due to my crazy working attitude until I did not have time to take care of his plant which was just located beside my desk. Once again, I am finally out of that place. If I didn't had to serve the nation, I might extend my stay there, but this time demanding a higher raise in my payslip.

My brother Teck Yi and I have already booked tickets and will be leaving for Genting on Sunday night. The only problem I am facing right now - He actually paid the trip for me due to only $20 left in my bank. That's the other side of life if you are actually without employment right now.

Honestly, I don't really dare to approach my parents for money as they have to feed my two younger brothers (one of them is a fucktard) and their living expenses. I still have some upcoming events which would involve more financial burdens. I cannot afford to work anymore, I need rest and more rest before my day at Tekong.

Life is hard, I will definitely work hard and earn lots of money so that I won't ever have the need to worry about a single cent. The only thing left to worry is being single.

No more gambling for me, I think that was also the reason why I am broke. It's a painful lesson learnt for my pockets.

If Yvonne has created an account for prayer requests, I want to create an account for financial requests. All proceedings shall be used to help the Noobthenick funds.

2010-07-14T00:31:00.002+08:00

Today is the day, the end of my work with Building & Construction Authority. I am glad that I've learnt many things throughout the journey with my colleagues, experienced many funny moments with those temporary staff too. I thought today was going to be a rough time, but still, I've been through it and am still alive. I hope I would be able to leave the final lasting impression in that company tomorrow~

What would be the upcoming journey for me as of now?

The start of my army life. I guess thats the next chapter of my life, and I have a strong feeling that I might not be able to withstand those darkest moments ahead. It's gonna be a rocky one, plus with my physical status at the present moment, I might not be able to get through smoothly.

Maybe a getaway from Singapore should do the trick, with my brother TY.

2010-07-12T23:59:00.002+08:00

You will never be alone, when there are no more heroes. God's love will guide you home, through it all. When you're tired and you stumble, He will carry you. When starlight falls, His love will carry you home, when there are no more heroes.

I'll see you again, I feel You walking beside me, I know I'll see you again.

In these darkest hours, I will tell myself I will see You again. In another few more hours, work is coming, and I am not looking forward to my own fears. Suddenly I am afraid of challenges, suddenly I am afraid of people. I need a getaway.

I need a breakthrough, damn it.

I stood in a Christian bookstore today, knowing that I had to, because I need to get back on my feet. Sin is pulling me away from You.

The temptation to FML is sweet, but its temporary. Get out get out.

Frustrated whenever and wherever I am. Be patient be patient.

Late and late and late. Be early and punctual.

Lie and gossips. Stop and be mute.

2010-07-09T23:08:00.002+08:00

"Spiderman (nicholas) v.s. Dr. Octopus" in the World Cup showdown on Monday morning @ 2.30am. Since my nemesis chose Spain as the winner, I shall choose the opposition as my favorite and the score to be 2-1.

It was a tiring preparation and awesome celebrations with both brothers Choy and Chye last week on their 21st. Upcoming ones would be Eugene Teo, Yeoh Zhi Yan and Alan Lee. I need the tailor after this month to mend my holes on the pocket after that.

Air Force ranged me up this week and told me I had to attend a compass test before commencing on the interviews. Of course I am happy at this good news, but am I capable of doing the great? I need some guidance on this~

14th July, Wednesday would be the last day at Building & Construction Authority. I've yet to get a testimonial from them, should I? It's been a fulfilling 3 months with them, especially the training on the administration work.

Left wrist still recuperating, its been two months already. When can I officially train on my pull-ups? I don't wanna down PES. I need a miracle, GMH.

2010-07-09T22:25:00.003+08:00

An octopus that can predict all the winning matches? It's just plain lucky, I am not going to believe in this raw sashimi for this upcoming Sunday final. I am going to trust in the parrot, who's rooting for Netherlands to destroy Spain. If Spain happened to win the world cup, I will never eat anymore eight-legged dishes as a form of protest.

Another 20 days to my overseas trip, I am not looking forward to it, seriously.

Screw my life now, stupid stomach flu.

2010-06-27T01:26:00.002+08:00

If only a shooting star appeared right in front of me, I would make a wish - that I can go back to my primary school days. No, I need a time machine, not shooting stars...

I could still remember those days when I was still close with my brothers, playing playstation together and doing all kinds of silly things. Hide-and-seek, sleeping together in the same bed room though we had our own rooms.

Today, the situation in my family has taken a 180-degree turn. My relationship with my mom and dad are normal. But the relationship between my brothers and parents have worsened and are already at a critical point where severe of ties might be possible, especially the second one.

Pray together with me, there's nothing I can do already. My second brother is super hopeless, only God can save him. Something happened today at home, thankfully there were no police reports, or getting my mom arrested. If she was, I think I would have whacked him upside down and inside out. How can he do such a thing? Where is the importance of filial piety?

What's happening to my family?

2010-06-23T23:57:00.002+08:00

Two blessed things I've experienced in the workplace today:

1. Two weeks ago, I don't know how my temp card got damaged, and a colleague of mine had to pay $42.50 for her replacement. My supervisor helped me waived the fee and I received a replacement temp card for free.

2. A colleague treated my supervisors, my friends and I to a curry fish head feast during lunch today! During that morning, I was still thinking of what I could eat with just $4 in my wallet. Then my colleague suddenly appeared and ask if we were interested for a lunch feast today. I thought that she won some money after last night's disappointing World Cup matches, but it was the shares that she had won. So she wanted to share this joy with us. Awesome.

Somehow, this week seemed to be series of surprises from God. I really pray and hope that more will come!

3. I was supposed to meet my brother for a jogging session at 8pm. But when I got home, I was too tired for anything, so I gave my eyes a rest and the next moment it was already 10.39pm. My brother was waiting for me at Macdonald's without his cell, and if I were him, this friendship would end by now. I dialed his mobile, he rejected twice. I sent him a text, and his reply was that he was initially frustrated and disappointed with me, but even before opening my mouth or reply to his text that I was sorry... He had already forgiven me in his text.

I wonder if I could actually do the same to him, if I was the one waiting for him at Macdonald's. I am guilty of what I've done, and super disappointed with myself. But yet to know that I have receive forgiveness from a brother whom I have failed him countless of times, that's one friendship that God has blessed me a lot.

Thank you Jesus.

2010-06-22T23:41:00.002+08:00

I scored plenty of goals today, courtesy to the assists from my teammates. But creating a goal is difficult, I can't seem to perfect a nice cross or pass for them to score. Thankfully I can still run and dribble. Overall, soccer at NUS today was awesome~

I experienced a miracle today while travelling to NUS. Apparently my card didn't have enough to board anymore rides. And knowing that my account has $12 left, I knew I had to use the last $10 to top up my card. As usual I followed the procedures and added value to my card, when the receipt came out... I saw a $302 balance in my account! For your information, my pay day should be on Thursday. I was worrying the entire day in the office and throughout the journey to work, God always had to throw surprises at the right timing. Thank you God. (:

If only I could experience another miracle in my love life right now, may the right girl just pop up in my sms now.

I think after saying this, no girls would dare to sms me for the time being.

LOL

2010-06-22T17:16:00.002+08:00

South Korea are totally in love with Portugal after their last night 7-0 demolition against North Korea! The World Cup competition has brought many surprises and upsets to our pockets especially, and the likes of France, Italy or even England might put a halt to their progress to the second qualifying round.

Back to work on Tuesday was definitely not motivating, but after staring at my bank account ($12), I knew I had to keep my faith and motivation driving on, because of the upcoming birthday celebrations in July. You know who you are brothers... Well I thought by trying a little luck in the match between Brazil and Ivory Coast would win me some quick money. Oh just forget about it. Gambling isn't actually wrong, but making the wrong decision... that's sin.

Recently I feel like I've been thrown into the wilderness again, and this time wandering without a compass is bad. So bad that I am gonna be stuck 40 days inside there. Help.

Comfort Zone.

2010-06-21T02:03:00.001+08:00

Two weeks ago during the church camp retreat, my brothers and I prayed for God's love to shower on us, so that we would be able to step out from our comfort zone to accept and love "weird" people. God commands us to love our neighbors, enemies and ourselves. Honestly, we all have been depending on our worldly wisdom and human's strength to accomplish this purpose that we are called to fulfill. God answered our prayer, He has placed new faces in our midst, and then we start complaining to God: "Why him/her? Why not someone whom we can interact or communicate easier with?"

It was Fathers' day yesterday, put up a performance with brother Marcus during church service, and it was applauded with cheers from the crowd. Mission accomplished. A happy father's to all the dads out there in Singapore, and to God - our heavenly Father. Would there be a chance to perform outside in the society, such as community clubs or even in the prison?

One area of focus that I want to concentrate on would be - confidence. I realized my image is built on how I desire for people to look at me. It's tiring and I guess its also time to really sit back and reflect during the start of the 40 days fast & prayer. Irene shared on having a sense of identity and what integrity really meant in the eyes of God. If you asked, I believe that I have this sense of integrity, I mean it!

Often in my workplace, I have to move from one working cubicle to another as there are lots of space constraints in the office. In these different cubicles, my colleagues often put their coins and some valuables on their desk. I am always tempted to take the coins and buy coffee/tea during my unofficial break time, but thankfully I didn't.

During the submission of my time sheet, my supervisor would have to sign before sending it to Recruit Express. I asked him why he didn't wanna check if I had filled in the time sheet properly, he replied: "Aiya, I trust you la, there is no such need to check through thoroughly."

This also led me to an even deeper temptation - first get my supervisor's signature, then change the figures on the time sheet according to how I want it to be.

...

Sorry for the break down. Brazil just scored 2-0. Not in the mood for anything.

Cockles & Oysters

2010-06-17T15:51:00.002+08:00

There were no pictures, but the drag race between an evolution x and a sirocco was stunning! The race lasted for 15 minutes, and it was way better than the Spain v.s. Switzerland match. Best of all, I got my debut joy ride in that blue beast to East Coast Park. (:

I am still in a daze at work after yesterday's supper at EC park - had oysters, cockles and beer with my aerospace pals. The rest were in Pulau Tekong, and would be coming out soon! Wonder how would they look like in their shaved heads. As for me, it would be quite worrying as my image would portray a look of wanted criminal.

A blessed birthday to Chessia Chen, who has turned 20 today. I've known her for a month already, and the first week was totally screwed up when she first joined the company. I still don't know when or what struck the turning point, but right now we can just talk about anything under the sun. Don't be alarmed people, she's already attached.

Tomorrow's supposed to be my last day. Why did I extend it?

The bad news: I got more shitloads of work, especially from one demanding boss.

The good news: I received compliments from the rest of my colleagues in the office - an efficient worker, flexible and able to turn the situation around, never fail to throw in surprises (late for work or buy herbal tea).

Sleepless

2010-06-16T01:07:00.002+08:00

It's Wednesday, and I just received 3 encouraging links from Christina who has never failed to inspire us with her daily blessings to people in the midst of our society. I hope I was a blessing to my colleagues in the workplace too. Let me share with you what I did last Friday - as usual I headed back to the office late after lunch, and a colleague of mine was coughing super badly and she was sitting in front of my cubicle. As the sound of her cough became more and more worrying, I began to sneak out to Chinatown and bought her herbal tea. When I reached the shop, I looked at the prices and the stingy thought of mine struck me, "$3.50? Oh my tian, what am I doing? It's so expensive!"

Scene 2...

I reached back to the office carrying the $3.50 herbal tea and a sweet to neutralize the bitterness. Though she offered to return the money, I refused and continued with my work.

I guess, being a daily blessing to people can be fun. But I hope I can do something without spending la in the future... JUST KIDDING!

Back to reality, still single and available. If you think you want to be a daily blessing to people, you can always ask me out to catch a movie or something. Okay, males are also allowed... (:

2010-06-09T03:30:00.002+08:00

It's the third day of the church camp retreat, and it's definitely gonna get more exciting. I hope that I would be able to last through the morning sermon and games. It's 3.30am now, yet still awake and singing songs in the room, while the brothers are still playing lan. There are many things that I am super unhappy with - the food, no room service, small swimming pool (or pond), no soft drinks. Night outings (Satay supper, durian feast) kept the mood neutral and motivated to dwell in this place, of course not forgetting my teammates and the people here too.

Beautiful Brazil~ Ole ole ole ole ole~~

2010-06-06T02:20:00.002+08:00

Family day @ LOCCW was really an awesome event tonight, especially with all the performances choreographed and planned by our very own youths, for their parents! It's a pity both mom and dad were working, and they missed out, which made me quite disappointed. During the part where the youths started presenting their gifts and saying "thank you" to their parents, I looked around me only to find empty seats and myself. Maybe I did not pray hard enough for them to come, maybe I didn't pluck up more courage to ask them, looking upon these parents being loved and honored by their kids just made me felt envious.

It was the first ever performance with brother Marcus, and I must admit it was a totally last minute surprise when told by Wei Qian last Sunday that I had to come up with one performance during the event. Choice of song was selected on Tuesday, choice of dance was selected on Wednesday, practicing and re-composing the lyrics was on Thursday, which brings us to only less than 5 hours of practice before the event started. Overall, it was really well received by the special guests and it was really encouraging when the speaker Mr. Jason Wong mentioned that if we were to upload our performance on Youtube or Facebook, it would get a million hits! Credits to Yahweh. (:

Up next, church camp on Monday!

But, I suddenly have a lot of emotions running through my mind. Excitement, anxiety, contentment, confusion, happiness... I need some karaoke session therapy to vent them out.

2010-06-02T17:18:00.003+08:00

Recently, I've been applying for unpaid leave for almost every week, its getting more and more addictive. It has become the new drug, and people around the office are having comments about me. Negative or positive, I am not affected by them, because I know I am always efficient in my work quality and productivity. The bad news however, lies in my punctuality. Punctuality is a responsibility that I've yet to take it seriously, even when I attend church services, I am late.

I've extended my contract with Building & Construction Authority as my colleagues are satisfied with my work efficiency, of course subtracting away the bad points such as sleeping on the office desk and drooling, long toilet breaks and being late for work. These are part and parcel of life in the government sector.

July 29th would be the day of enlistment in Tekong. Excitement or anxiety? I seriously have no idea, but I really hope there would be no cockroaches or ghosts when I'm inside.

We have already reached the halfway stage of the year. It's reflection time. What have we actually done during the past 6 months to mold a godly character within us? What were the good and bad that we went through?

2010-06-01T22:24:00.002+08:00

What happens if you realize your good friend admits to you that he/she is a homosexual? Well, pastor Joseph shared with me his answer:

"Love him/her as a sinner and not their sins."

This I know, but how do I apply this concept/principle in my daily routines?

God, help me.

So Much To Say

2010-05-16T22:34:00.002+08:00

1. Sprain my left wrist

2. Led worship during youth service

3. ATFKER class gathering

4. Shopping

5. Good food

6. Bible lessons

7. YA cell group

8. Edward's birthday party

There are so much things to say, yet very little time to type them out in detail. So many spiritual messages and information are inside my head now, and I am taking time to digest them all. It has been a wonderful week for me. The good news is I have not been falling for my personal temptation for 3 weeks already! If you are reading, I hope you can keep me in your prayers quietly.

I want to share a verse that has been running through my head for a long time:

"Do to others what you don't want people to do unto you."

It is the simplest things you do that molds a godly character within you. They may be small and insignificant in the eyes of the world, but in God's eyes, they are significant. A simple thing that I want to discipline is my punctuality, not only in the workplace, but also in church and random gatherings.

Back It up

2010-05-10T17:17:00.002+08:00

It was a fresh experience as a backup singer in church, and I didn't felt nervous at all on stage. I am definitely expecting more appearances sooner this year, and hopefully singing together with Alan and Amos. This would mean more discipline on the vocals and training sessions. Cool.

Random:

L4D session was awesome! The teamwork between Alan and I were simply superb and swift! The adrenaline rush was high, and unfortunately the costs of the game too. Looking forward to more of these enthusiasm from the players again.

Needless to say, Chelsea are the reigning champions.

8-0 :D

2010-05-08T02:24:00.002+08:00

I am Nicholas Ng. I was lost, but now am found.

I was blind, but now I see.

I was deaf, but now I hear.

I was being served, now I serve.

Most importantly, I have Christ in me. I don't need no heroes anymore.

Gotta Catch Em' All~

2010-05-05T22:28:00.004+08:00

Be thankful and prayerful.

Be thankful for the daily blessings God has given to us, be prayerful for our relationship with God.

So I was wandering around Causeway Point in the evening, and called some of my brothers asking if they were heading for church later. Honestly I didn't had the motivation for the prayer at church thing. Eventually, I attended the prayer session and didn't regretted it. It was an act of obedience, moreover it was once a month.

Before leaving home, I was watching Youtube, and I went to search for the reverse version of Pokemon theme's song. It was pure nightmare for my ears. The lyrics "I love Satan I love Satan" kept haunting my mind. As I left home and walked towards Christ Church, those lyrics began to fill my mind and I started shouting and singing worship songs from my Ipod. When I met Uncle Krishnan, the eerie music and lyrics began to fade away slowly.

I will never ever listen or watch Pokemon again. Never ever~

Oh Ya Bae Ya Som!~

2010-05-05T14:19:00.002+08:00

"Oh ya bae ya som! I choose Nicholas to be in my team!"

Few years ago when I was still around the age of 14 or 15, I started playing football due to the influences in my class. I am thankful I didn't met a bunch of basketball players, I had a memorable bunch of football friends whom I've been through a lot with them, ups and downs. At the soccer court, two captains would have to choose their team players. I didn't like to be captain, but the feeling was awesome whenever the two captains would always want to win first hand to select the best player. I'm not the best, but still under the top 3 list. To be honest, my team didn't need to have good players. I once remembered Cleon, Louis, Wei Qian, Joash and I were a team during those days at Tekong park. I'm not saying that we aren't good players, because from the way we played, it was pure classic Arsenal play. At that time, the word solo never came across my head.

That quiet moment after the game yesterday at NUS made me thought of the earlier days. I knew some of my team players were pissed off with me, a very strong conviction in my heart. Why? Because I was Hans Solo.

Every time the ball touched my feet, I thought I was Cristiano. Less than a few seconds, the opponents counter attacked and killed the game. I simply forgotten the art of passing, or rather having this thought in my head: "What happens if I pass the ball to this guy, and he loses it?"

I am gonna redeem myself on Saturday.

In the meanwhile, I took leave today at work. I couldn't get up on my bed, due to high heat and sore throat, with an addition of cough. Thankfully, only the sore throat and cough stayed. No wait... oh crap.

Ironman 2? Anyone?

Remember Our Mission.

2010-05-03T22:38:00.002+08:00

I will definitely blog about my sharing during last Saturday's disciple-making session. Cannot believe that I actually missed out the linkage between the message shared and worship. No wonder there were so many confused looks, and some sleepy heads. Apologies for the overall sharing, but I assure that it would be the last time, and I will definitely grow and share better. At least, I feel confident after sharing the word of God. It can be quite saddening to hear that an individual can absorb all the preachings and sermons in a church, but without practical application, its meaningless to become a Christian.

Sharing the good news has and still is the ultimate purpose for a Christian. "Seek first the kingdom of God, and all these shall be added on to you." As a "shallow" Christian, I can't help but reflect upon my walk with Christ ever since knowing and accepting Him. Instead of sharing the good news, I've been requesting from God many things to beautify my life, rather than becoming a blessing to others. Instead of practicing selflessness, I become selfish. Until now, I am still stingy over 10 cents or 20 cents. My goodness.

Actions really speak louder than words. I better stop all these things now, I rather act it out than talk about having a transformation in my life.

Today, I met up with some friends from Admiralty Primary. Some I've already known through Christ Church Secondary. But this person, whom I never met up with her for more than 8 years, showed up at Mos Burger. Thankfully the atmosphere wasn't as weird as I thought. It just felt as if I was back to those primary school days. At an age of 20, it's really a blessed thing to catch up with them. I've got a feeling, this small group is going to expand soon. Hopefully, someday... the good news will be shared with them. (:

A true friend never allows him/her to suffer in Hell during the day of judgement.

Change

2010-04-29T22:47:00.003+08:00

What is wrong with me? I actually looked like a fool when I shouted at my bro wearing my Nike hood, and it felt so frustrating when there even ink stains on it, and he denied about having to do with it. My mom had to be the judge and I was slammed guilty - for an act of childishness. It's a test of patience seeing him wearing all my hoods and clothes, and screwing them up big time. This time, my white Nike hood was on him, and my love bubble popped.

"I bought this from China, fucker! Why must you screw it ?!" -me

"What about my shoes you worn? I bought those from Vietnam!" -bro

"I don't give a fuck! You want to row your way to China and buy for me if you screw it?" -me

"Then you go take a walk to Vietnam and get me another pair of shoes la!" - bro

From the above, I have already lost to him in the argument, because of I hurled vulgarities. Yes I am in the wrong. It was seriously an act of childishness after venting it out to my mother. She was teasing the both of us and told us that the countries that we were comparing about our stuffs. Come to think about it, China and Vietnam instead of Finland or Paris. Plain childish.

My mom told me that if I ever wanted to buy clothes or shoes, I would just name the price and she would pay for it. Sounds awesome right? But when you got two more brothers at home, the thought of their expenses stopped me right away. I've always wanted to authentic and durable stuffs, but they come at a high price. Eventually I have always settled for something fake and cheap, just like myself.

Through the argument, I was actually talking to my mom and sharing to her about my feelings in this home. At least it was worth it.

An even better news, she might throw me a farewell party before I enlist. Heads up people, you might be on my invitation list. (:

And I am going to groom myself for the upcoming graduation ceremony, all expenses from my mom.

From FML to GMH. It's defintely amazing.

2010-04-28T23:15:00.002+08:00

What have I been exactly doing these few days?

I tell you the truth, I have been falling back into the worldly desires and temptations again.

At work, I've been super demoralized after calling so many companies and not one of them is interested to participate in my company's recruitment schemes. It's only a month, and the complaints start coming in. But I know, it's part of that genuine plan. Continue to persevere and hang on.

IronMan 2 and IpMan 2.

Who's interested?

Love

2010-04-28T17:16:00.002+08:00

Jesus reminded us to love no matter how screw-ed a person can be, it's very convenient and easy to love people that are decent-looking or easy to communicate. First impression is always crucial when it comes to interviews or roaming around the workplace. Sadly, judging people has always been the number one spot on my list. I can never fail to condemn or judge about people, and unfortunately turning these people's flaws into my daily jokes. This is also known as putting one's happiness onto others' misery.

Surviving in the working society is never easy, you cannot differentiate between the good and the scheming. Once a colleague of mine was reading her book and playing Facebook in the office, so everything was cool and suddenly "BAM!", she received a warning from her supervisor after that. How nice. I know its wrong to do that, but cooping inside the office can really drive a person nuts for a long period of time.

Some of my temp colleagues have left, new faces joined. Honestly, it can be really tiring when the whole self-introduction thing starts again.

"Hi! I am Nicholas. Nice to meet you, first time working as an admin?"

"In BCA, we do have other temp colleagues too who are having the same job scope as us."

"Oh do you know how our elevator system works?"

Often I've will ask the same generic questions repetitively, and its becoming a routine. Love is a learning process, and God is good, He places different people from different walks of life to test our faith, and patience to love.

I cannot say that I am perfect, but sometimes people around you can be quite an eye-sore, to be honest. How I wished I could be straight forward and blast right into his/her face, but... I am still finding a solution.

Right now, He has placed someone new in my life. Caught by surprise, it is very difficult to show love to such person. Hidden beauty is what really matters, not the external appearance.

We've all... been tricked my friends.

Enlistment

2010-04-26T15:25:00.002+08:00

i received my letter of enlistment yesterday. it states in the letter that i am going to pulau tekong on:

29th JULY 2010, THURSDAY.

and so i was browsing through facebook and this is what i saw:

FESTIVAL OF PRAISE

30TH-31ST JULY 2010, FRIDAY - SATURDAY.

FuckMyLife.

seriously.

Renovation

2010-04-25T03:19:00.002+08:00

i need to renovate myself again, from the inside out.

what's wrong with being honest nowadays? there's nothing to be ashamed of, don't need to feel pai sei or whatsoever.

honestly, i am disgusted with hearing generic and "what-seems-to-be-on-the-surface" answers. come on! say the truth, nobody will condemn you for that!

for example,

"i like you very much!"

"i am (fill in the blanks)!"

"I do (fill in the blanks)!"

and the list goes on...

winning wednesday

2010-04-21T22:07:00.003+08:00

one thing to be thankful today: i spent $1.65 the entire day!

i was invited for a company lunch treat, and i went 5 rounds plus dessert! it was super delicious, and work today was quite slack though. not sure whether i did it right, but i don't care already. my spending budget has been changed to red alert, my next pay would be on the 7th of may.

i am totally good-gamed.

my wallet has only 10 bucks left, with 30 bucks in my bank account. it's a test of faith and discipline on my expenses. (:

no mood to post about any stuffs, recently felt alone again. damn it.

2010-04-20T22:27:00.002+08:00

to my brothers who are going through a very rough period, regardless of whether you are in the army, school or even at work. here's one advice to you, go and read christina's wordpress. read what God is doing for her life right now, and be inspired to put back your focus on God. right now, even i myself cannot provide the right solution to spur you back on the right track.

it's okay if you are hurling crude words or pointing the middle finger towards someone, but at the end of the day, it's not that person you are accountable to. your behavior, words, thoughts reflects your attitude and the relationship between you and God. God allows us to do so, because it's a choice. don't blame Him just because your life is screwed upside down, instead be thankful, because the next thing you might know, you would be sharing another great testimony at church. of course, that comes with a focus, a spiritual focus.

oh man, i don't even know what i am blabbering. if you want to experience the feeling of happyness, come join me this weekend at __________.

BLUE

2010-04-19T16:47:00.003+08:00

blue was the colour worn during yesterday football game, in which we killed the game, courtesy goals from edward (debut game), marcus and tey. the game tempo was set at a high pace that almost took my life during the first half. thankfully the rain came and i felt like lightning in the second half, fortunately i wasn't struck by it. 3-2 was the score that evening, and with the ratio of youths overpowering the adults, it seems that we are ready to take on other church teams around Singapore. heh

monday blues as usual today, gonna meet up with pastor joseph and yiyuan for dinner at bugis later. i remember the first time we met was during 2008, at adam food court centre, and talking about random stuffs and my family issues. no i didn't teared at all, maybe i had a stoned heart. hahaha.

chilling session at macdonalds' with choy, marc, wc, edward, monica and yvonne was honestly fun. gossips and discussions were held, and i guessed edward could not take in a lot after last night. i like the part where wc played the koala bear and choy being the tree. that was the limelight of the night, i mean seriously, the illustration was superb. great night with them, it always sucks when its time to go home.

skipped church service and that really was a smack right at my face.

being honest about yourself and towards people, is that ever a good thing? i guess it is a good thing after all. i just hate beating around the bush and trying to convey someone a message. it's super difficult, and it's never a nice feeling if you find out that you are being rejected straight in the face. "chang tong bu ru duan tong" - yes that's what they say, might as well go die, even better. heh.

SIAN. i am starting to look forward to the weekends already.

Girls v.s Women

2010-04-17T01:56:00.002+08:00

another few more days to the countdown of my first month anniversary working at BCA. and yes, i am not going to chase girls anymore. i am turning my attention towards the mature, elegant and attractive capable women in the working society. to put it in simple words, office ladies la. heh.

it is a very sudden random thought, oh i organized a dinner outing today, and it was so screwed up that i had a bad stomachache when i got home. i am never having steamboat buffets at bugis again, definitely not. i wasted eighteen bucks, and i spent 130 dollars today. what have i done? :O

with only half of my salary left and another half of the debts to clear by this week, i am really hoping that my parents would still provide me with a reasonable allowance to last through next week. i am starting to keep an account on what i have spent and how much i have saved. bear with me brothers, sisters and whoever's out there, it's going to be a stingy and scrimp-y period for me now until church camp.

if you are wondering why i am not doing any comparison between girls and women, its pretty obvious to me, i am not sure whether you have the same sentiments too. girls are defined to be age under 18? or younger perhaps? unless you have attained all the criteria above mentioned, you are not considered a woman. heh.

pardon me for speaking nonsense, i am very tired right now. thankful for soccer gathering tomorrow, cell group and island creamery outing with them !

weeee :D

Tired Tuesday

2010-04-13T21:03:00.002+08:00

i am feeling very tired now~ no not emo, just lethargic. it was raining pouring super heavily just now, and i was refreshed by those thick droplets of rain on my face while walking home. just felt the need to be spiritually refreshed by God, as i have been thinking a lot of nonsensical stuffs recently.

i suddenly feel surrounded by a lot of new faces lately, be it in church or workplace. unfortunately, all guys. i know God forbids homosexuality, but surely don't treat me like that la. but since its part of His plan, i shall stick to it. maybe i said something before... oh yeah! my new year resolution! it is found in choy's blog, one of those previous posts in the month of january. i mentioned that i wanted to have new brothers to join our group, and join us in chill-out sessions and outings.

but its difficult la. damn it.

on a random note: i cannot stand gays/homosexuals. but pretty lesbians, can. :)

A Plan

2010-04-12T20:44:00.003+08:00

finally, a solution to break the ice - play ice breakers! great, what a terrible idea that was. in fact, the genuine plan to break the ice is God's plan. so let us see what has the bible got to tell us:

Phillipians 1:6:

"And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to a completion at the day of Jesus Christ."

a plan that never fails, a genuine plan that the world is not able to create, but only by the wisdom of God in the bible. and it is known that, to understand this plan is pretty simple. just read the bible everyday and pray to God! its pretty simple but difficult to stay consistent. it's the only way to know God's plan for us. JC is the way, the truth and the life.

i know i don't sound convincing at all, but i realize that God's plan for us is stay hold steadfast and strong to Him in faith. but those who have been following him for years, are suddenly beginning to doubt, or even fall away from him. how can they pick themselves up from the falling to the enemy?

1 Corinthians 9: 24-27

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified."

no matter how long the years might be, or how long the distance we have to run, how difficult it is to live in the world and serve God, it's all part of His plan. He knows what we are thinking, our prayers, our needs, our cries, our hatreds. everything within us, He knows.

this is an encouragement to all those who are in doubt of God, or maybe, still searching for an answer from Him. today, God has already answered your prayers. the question is, are you ready to accept it ?

i know God has a romantic plan in stored for me, i can't wait to find out that romantic surprise. maybe its gonna happen before the enlistment? or after 2 years? i thank you, Lord JC, for breaking this ice today. :D

Frozen

2010-04-12T15:50:00.003+08:00

i woke up late in the morning, but it was still a good start on monday. work kept me occupied throughout the whole time, in order to divert my emo-ness away. also, it was my first time getting scolded by a job seeker over a phone conversation. instead of being frustrated, i actually felt helpless and disappointed. there are still many unemployed people out there who are unable to feed their families, and are in the brink of desperation. we never thought that this could happen to us, but this is real. unemployment can really lead a person to do desperate things in order to feed his wife and children.

i thank God for the financial stability in my family, i really do...

and while browsing through facebook and seeing some of you whining over school and other matters, it really bothers me. come on, we should be appreciative of where we are right now, be it in school, internship, or even mugging for your Os' and As'. yes keep complaining and whining now. someday if you are in the working society, and you say: "how i wish i was back in school."

i would look at you and reply: "fuck you" (:

yes i am a temp admin office boy, but i treat my work seriously and deliver them at the best quality and efficiently. though it's still a government sector, i never fail to complete my work before 6 in the evening. however, i am disappointed by the fact that my brother is gonna quit his job soon. yes i understand what you are going through at work, but eventually, excuses are excuses. we are more than conquerors of this world, what can scoldings and persecution do to us? just like what elaine said, never be a quitter. and i will never become one.

but still, i respect the decision you made and wish you all the best. i will still be there bro.

i am not a quitter, and i will never become a quitter. i fell, but i will pick myself up and improve on the areas which is stopping me from becoming who i want to be. i will fight on, because i am a fighter, and a warrior.

i will fight on, and sooner or later i will melt this ice.

Stunned

2010-04-11T22:39:00.002+08:00

i can understand what the manchester fans are going through now, because i am stunned too. not by the results against blackburn, but something else.

just hope the weekend would come soon, wanna chill out with my brothers again, as the whole entire group once again.

...

Sprained Ankle

2010-04-10T03:21:00.002+08:00

beautiful girls all around singapore, i could be chasing but my time would be wasting. well you are the only exception, you are the only exception, well you are the only exception. and it's worth the risk~

so i was playing football with the brothers at cage, kallang. i tried to be like lionel messi, scoring 4 goals, and i sprained my ankle. what a mess. it means i am out for the next soccer gathering, damn it. looking forward to the next church game after service on sunday.

i have not been sleeping well these few days, and i am typing a lot of boring stuffs. no worries, i will post up juicy news about myself and the people around me soon.

hopefully some pictures would be better. :D

Town Outing Thursday!

2010-04-09T00:31:00.002+08:00

i have a question: "why is everyone so interested in who i like?"

honestly, i can't give you a confirmation for now, and if you are trying to dig out the cat from my close brothers and sisters, good luck to you. heh, i am unpredictable. sigh. God, can't you just bless me with the perfect girl, and live happily ever after ? just kidding, it will never come true.

the perfect girl, the perfect relationship with her, the perfect date, the perfect wedding. boomz! yeah right. that explains why i always grow white hair, it's not because i'm stress but rather i think about stupid things.

oh yes, congratulations to marcus lim for scoring a ride to sweden! and i am so happy for him because not only he gets to savor swedish meatballs, manchester are out of the champions league. bye bye !

today's football friday! gonna play at cage later at 10pm - midnight, it's gonna be a wild one. thank God for friday, because i am only working half day.

thanks to amelia, i am going to get two pairs of fred perry shoes! :D

Tiko-Tuesday!

2010-04-06T17:51:00.003+08:00

working in the afternoon is fun, because none of my supervisors are around. yes, i've got 3 supervisors and i'm surrounded by them in cubicles. but i wasn't slacking, i was busy making calls to several companies hoping that they would be interested to take in candidates from our head quarters. i don't know why i can only make those calls when they aren't around, my confidence comes only when i am working alone. weird working ethnic. anyway its gonna be minutes to 6 before i knock off, for football.

anyway, i've decided not to get a new pair of soccer shoes after thinking throughout the entire morning. good bye predator, good bye mercurial, good bye t90 laser. say hello to either sneakers from fred perry, ben sherman, vans, converse and the list goes on... if anyone has a better suggestion please tag me on facebook! kindly appreciated it, because i know you are reading my blog too. (:

i wanna update you guys on my life right now. i am sailing on a beautiful day, on that peaceful and baby blue ocean, and in it are the beautiful rainbow corals and marine species, with dolphins dancing beside my yacht. i am not a good story teller, but i guess this chapter in my life is called: "renewed, recharged and revived". i don't wish to rewind back to the past, i don't wish to rewind back to my broken relationships and pondering about whether i would be able to find a better opposite.

no, i want to rejoice! the first quarter of the year was seriously bad/atrocious/sinful/frustrated/disappointed/emo.

it's the start of the second quarter of the month. i don't hope. i pray that life right now is gonna be much more exciting!

... oh well at least apart from work.

being random though, anyone interested to sing k box again ?

S.O.R

2010-04-05T15:21:00.004+08:00

profile: the sound of resurrection
d.o.b: somewhere in the month of february
description: percussion/drums ministry

members:

1. wei qian
2. daniel
3. edward
4. makan
5. david
6. ashok
7. benard
8. zhengyu
9. srijan
10. marcus
11. stanley
12. yiyuan
13. nicholas
14. jinwan
15. qiu tong
16. joanne
17. amelia
18. charmaine
19. clara
20. monica
21. wen ting
22. kok chye
23. elaine
24. adelene

in 2009, the percussion ministry started out with just less than 10 members. today the percussion hub has brought in many new and non-christians from the different walks in life. a year has passed, and look at that significant increase in the attendance! it's not the end yet, its just the beginning of the many great things that are yet to come! indeed, some left, some became stagnant, some were inspired, some didn't bothered, even so, it really goes to show that God never fails when we trust Him. :) after easter's performance, i believed that these young members' lives are really touched by the love of our God, and will continue to hang on to their faith on God. great job and awesome performance people. ;)

wait wait, what about the senior members ? where have they gone ? are they going to perform anytime this year ? relax, God is in control.

firstly, elaine's debut performance last year was probably the last one too, but it was really great having her onboard with us during that period, especially when she had to paint her face! kok chye's currently still serving the national service and might be away for another year before coming back. adelene also stepped down from the ministry as she had to lead in many other areas in the church. it was really fun having the senior members around, but with new generation rising up, it's gonna get better and better.

i will definitely be back soon, together with marc and stan. this time, it ain't gonna be performing to glorify myself, but to perform for God as a form of worship. to be honest, whenever i perform, it was always for my own glory. i failed to understand the ultimate purpose of being in the ministry - using the sound of percussion to invite non-believers and inspire them to play music even though they suck. i didn't played for easter, when uncle ken asked me, i also didn't know how to answer that.

currently i am in the midst of choreographing next year's easter performance, i think it's gonna be another awesome performance!

the sound of resurrection. a name that i came up with, and proud of it. :)

like i said, this is not the end yet. it's just the beginning.

it's a ministry that consists of many young members, and it started out from nothing, to an inspiration, music that makes an impact and change lives in each of these members. personally, if only they were much more discipline...

now why do i say that ?

whenever wei qian shouts: "don't play your instruments", "quiet!", "gather closer", or "go to your respective positions and get ready", they don't listen. and wei qian must really repeat a lot of times before getting them to settle down. its okay to have fun and enjoy each others' presence, but also bearing in mind that being discipline also helps one to become mature and develop better spiritually level. so far, daniel is the most attentive and disciplined member in the ministry. unfortunately, he's leaving in august. ):

but then again, if Moses could handle thousands of Israelites, a group of 20 over members shouldn't be a problem. like i said, be discipline lo...

I WILL BE BACK.

VivaJesus

2010-04-05T13:54:00.003+08:00

"above all power, above all things, above all wonder and all created things...crucified, laid behind the stone, You lived to die rejected and alone. Like a rose, trampled on the ground, you took the fall, and you thought of me... above all."

"Lord i lift your name on high, Lord i love to sing your praises... You came from heaven to earth to show the way, from the earth to cross, my debt to pay, from the cross to the grave from the grave to the sky. Lord i lift your name on high... "

plus with percussion performance and an additional worship songs from the south african team... easter was simply awesome. the weekend really drained away my human strength, but i was spiritually recharged, revived, and renewed... once again. however, i am still disturbed by one thing, i guess some of you might have already known. am i being too paranoid ?

forget about the premier league, my weekend went super crazy! on friday night, choy marcus and i went a road march from bugis all the way to toa payoh, and had ba kut teh before resting for the next morning, which was just a few hours away. on saturday night, headed to choy's house to catch the man utd and chelsea match with alan and marcus, only to find ourselves at united square around 1 plus in the morning. due to the timing, i had to stay at marcus house again before heading to the morning service on sunday. great. :D

lunch treat by gerard (marcus's cousin) at marina square and kbox session with marcus and the ladies wrapped the whole weekend up in style. by the way, thank you gerard for the lunch meal, although i don't feel pai seh when people treat me to makan, but yesterday was teh first time. so a really big thank you to you... (:

besides those times in yunnan, i realized that i spent a lot of time with marcus during this weekend, two one night stands plus the kbox session. once a shepherd of mine, now a brother. and i can't help but think of the past where he's blessed me with formal clothes, meals, swensens, frog leg porridge and the list goes on. i am such a disappointment, cause i have never done anything for him once. maybe the best gift i can give him now is my time and singlehood ? wahahaha! anyway thanks bro for everything you have done. let's just put away the soccer thing, till tomorrow. LOL

you guys must be wondering whether i am at work or not, indeed i am working now, but my supervisors are away for job fair event. so once again, monday blues in the office... let's hope it will be a good start and end for this week. i can't wait for church camp leave to be approved, i shall ask my bosses after prayer meeting this month. :)

wordy wordy wordy blog. wonder if anyone ever gets pissed off by my posts. i am just simply too lazy to post up pictures.

2010-04-02T00:16:00.002+08:00

a blog expresses an individual's feelings or emotions about a person. it allows one to share his happiness and vent his frustration in this online space where everybody can know what's going on in your daily activities.

a few brothers of mine are recently being played out by women, and they're local. these brothers unfortunately are nice and decent chaps, only to find out that these women are either putting their friends and passion ahead of them, or have already found someone else. i have not suffered from a broken heart for almost more than 3 years already, so i can't really empathize with them. what i can afford are my ears and personal time with them, and it has been on-going for several days. you know who you guys are.

i was walking around town today, and not surprisingly i saw many young couples, same age as me or even younger! ranging from holding hands to many new kinds of 'hanky-panky', this is our new youth generation. i don't envy, nor do i get jealous that easily, but i am still single!

i feel for my brother now who's being played out by this random person. yet, i cannot teach the wrong methods to him, i gotta play the 'big brother' role model towards him. it's difficult to pretend in front of him and say things that doesn't make sense. in fact, i feel for all my brothers who are going through the same shit in relationships.

they are good men, but because of the hurt you caused them. they become the fallen, doing things that aren't themselves, causing them to harbor thoughts that aren't healthy to the mind and blaming themselves for allowing this to happen. and you women get away scot-free.

i am not trying to be sexist. sometimes it's not all about us, you are part of it too.

Try Loving, Don't Try To Be Nice.

2010-03-29T22:01:00.002+08:00

"it doesn't pay to be kind." how often do we hear this phrase from the world? after all, we all want to be nice, it's just that the people that we love aren't appreciative of what we are trying to do for them. sometimes to the extent that you either become verbally abusive or the middle finger just pops up right smack at their face.

yes we all know that "God is love", but have we ever seen this, "God is nice" ? we are also aware that God is faithful, trustworthy, compassionate, patient and the list goes on. but we never see that God is 'nice'.

being nice to people is merely depending upon our own human strength, and not God's. however, we begin to see and feel things differently if we draw strength from God, instead of being mr. nice guy, we actually learn to love. with God's strength, we can stop pretending to be nice, but rather to sincerely and spiritually love that person even though he is still not appreciative of what you are doing for him/her. God commands us to love Him and our neighbors as ourselves, those who offends/curses us, and our own enemies.

we can be nice to people and still end up failing. but God's love is never failing, it never disappoints us.

today, my friend, are you willing to draw God's strength and try to love the unloved, those whom you don't love, and yourself?

and when you begin to love that person, you will also begin to experience God's love for you!

* if you are reading this, you know who you are. fighting!

The Power To Forgive, That Courage To Forget

2010-03-28T22:19:00.002+08:00

" God has the power to forgive, and forgets. the accounts and debts that you owed him before, are now cancelled. since He is able to do that, are you able to forgive those who curse, persecute, offend and hit you? are you able to pluck up that slight courage to forget about the past between you and your brother or sister? "

today, are you willing to forgive and forget?

yes... i am willing, but i can't depend on my own strength alone, i need to draw God's strength. i want to surrender everything onto Him, all the worries, anxieties, financial, relationship, family and personal problems. let my mind be re-newed once again with Your love.

a relationship with God should be like a pyramid, where earthquakes can't shake us, cyclones can't break us, and hurricanes can't take away His love from me. it is built on a solid yet strong rock foundation.

" so what's next? "

spiritual goals... covenant with my shepherd... transformed... changing lives through changed lives...

Poker Face

2010-03-28T01:28:00.002+08:00

poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poker face~ mum mum um mum um~

if you don't know about it, kok chye torn his ligament and will be out of action from football for at least 4 months! looks like he's gonna get more palace treatment in the army, exempted from so many stuffs, i wonder what how our soldiers are going to fight a war next time. and soon enough, my time will come. to be honest, i am pretty anxious about army life and how i would be going through it with even stronger temptations. the result of the output would definitely differ than the input of the product. i hope i get nerdy and stupid bunkmates, hopefully.

okay another thing, i really suck at playing poker. i don't even know what's going on, i only three words to shout, "call", "raise" and "check". most of the time i either call or check, oh there's another word "fold". call, raise, check and fold. these four words sound like a procedure or something. but i sure had fun with the brothers, and it felt the good old days. just chilling... and chatting about whatever random stuffs we have.

attendance for official soccer gatherings is always full, but for saturday, its really disappointing. till now, the youth hub seems kinda empty. one reason i believe is the timing, most students often hang out in the afternoon either in town or places to chill. but school on a saturday afternoon playing sports ? no thanks, i got other better things to do. if that's the mindset we're facing from the younger generation, we need a change. or maybe that's just a bunch of excuses... mmm...

sermon shared by irene today left me dumbstruck, especially when she shared about porn. wow, its really what i am going through now. what she said really make sense, but of course, i can't listen and just feel guilty and pretend that 'hey tomorrow's gonna be better day!'. i need a miracle man, just one simple miracle will do. i wanna be a transformer!

4 things that can lead my spiritual mind to destruction:

1. proud

2. critical

3. lazy

4. doubtful

i am better than lionel messi, i scored all the above goals. and it isn't worth celebrating about. ):

Tongue Twister

2010-03-27T01:01:00.001+08:00

if i could, i would donate my tongue. so that those who can't speak will be blessed with the gift of communication. it was a great start for work, especially when i meet colleagues who are simply friendly and helpful, only those whom i know. as for the rest, i'm not sure about the politics in the office, but some can give you the cold shoulder at times. i should smile more often at them, hey then i would look like retarded-ly handsome.

what made my life miserable was my tongue. i kept blabbering a lot of crude nonsense and vulgarities wherever i am, being a seriously bad influence, especially to my brother Teck Yi. it feels like i am to those good old days man, but am getting better at it. of course, i still got the army life coming up. uh-oh.

ever since the start of work, Teck Yi has been the only friend i had, going back home together after work was one thing i was looking forward to. we would talk about a lot of stuffs, kinda like the HTH (heart to heart) conversations. no worries, no gay no gay. it soon became a motivation to my working life every day. thank god for this week, because nothing happened during work. heh.

the tongue is the only weapon that is lethal. i just hope i can be dumb for life and not speak, and give the others an opportunity to speak. seriously, i dont mind though.

anyway, what's exactly going through the minds of local women? go to facebook, twitter, blogs or msn personal messages you see many kinds of emo-tic phrases or quotes. i've been seeing the same nonsense repetitively and it's starting to piss me off. the other type of local girls are those who are super fickle-minded, i.e. eeenie mynie eeenie mo lover.

that term is defined as someone who changes her/his lover like clothes in the wardrobe. and my dear brother Teck Yi happens to be the victim of someone. i am not sure what's on her mind right now, but sending the wrong signals isn't nice. a minute she say pretty things to him, the next minute she doesn't know who you are.

my friend, the jungle is full of flowers and fruits! don't pick the pretty ones, they can kill. instead pick the smelliest flower of all, the rafflesia (is that how you spell it?) !

or pick the fruit that is hard on the outside but soft on the inside, mmm something like the durian la! but at the end of the day, it's an individual's choice. we can't judge, live with it and give them our blessings.

if you happen to victims of 'eeenie meanie mynie mo lover', accept my condolences. but you can always come meet and play lan with me ! yeah, recently been doing many things alone. eat, sleep, watch movie, play lan, window shopping. doing all these alone is fun! well of course, if you wanna ask me out. i gotta think first, cause i only hang out with the ladies. heh kidding la. brothers also la.

also kidding.

Quietness

2010-03-25T22:11:00.002+08:00

Shhhhh...

My house is never a house of peace and quiet. I hear a lot of noises and arguments especially from my mom.

Noises about hygiene, this dirty that dirty. Sometimes, I just wanna get out of my house and live on my own. Fuck, I can't even feed myself, really I can just shoot myself and die.

I want to come back home from work and stay still in the quietness, and be still.

But, shit always happen. And it happens everyday. ):

What About Now.

2010-03-24T22:56:00.002+08:00

we often harbor thoughts about our past, and our future. but what about now ? we make amendments from our past, and plans for the future, but why can't we work out something now ? it's a problem i face in my daily life too.

before the holidays even started, i had a list of plans of what i was gonna do. so blah blah blah came out those words from my mouth about the exciting adventure i was going to have and boom!

...

i have started working and all my plans failed.

what about now ? what should i do with my life now ?

honestly, i have been feeling so emo with myself that my complexion is starting to worsen. lobster. i need to go for a facial soon during the weekends. anyone interested to tag along ? preferably a female. :P

alright tomorrow is thursday, can't wait to start and end work quickly! so that i would be able to thank God for fridays !

what am i going to do now ?

facebook and sleep.

start of working life... Again

2010-03-24T11:55:00.005+08:00

remember my internship with Tiger Airways last year? i have found a new job, all thanks to my bro Lim Teck Yi, who's been patient with me during that job-hunting period. without him, i would still be jobless today. while i was sleeping throughout the job-hunting period, Teck Yi has been sending my resumes to various companies and job agencies without my approval. eventually Building & Construction Authority accepted my resume and immediately i started work on Monday.

fortunately, he's got a job with MOE, and having similar jobscope as i. also known as "Sai-Gang warrior", we have to handle with data entry and handling calls with scholars in Singapore, sponsorships and companies.

unfortunately, these scholars who have seriously excellent academic results doesn't produce excellent communication skills. they are rude and can be pretty difficult to accomodate. damn it, i am starting to hate them. arrogant and stuck-up.

so i played soccer yesterday at NUS, it was superb. i think i played pretty well plus i had lots of game time in the courts. more wins than losses increased my confidence and game morale. expect even more next Tuesday!

currently none of my supervisors are in the office, which explains why i am able to blog!

HAHA :D

That Slight Moment of Happyness

2010-03-19T09:41:00.002+08:00

i was staring at the ceiling of my room and managed to sleep when my brother woke up around 6 in the morning. the alarm ranged and it was 9 plus. i got up, saw the message and got a shocked!

Aircraft Propulsion System = B (Bad)
Aircraft Structures & Aircraft Systems 2 = B (Bad)
Design and Development of Aircraft Components Processes = B+ -.-
Human Factors = ADistinction :D
Overseas Immersion Programme = A :D
Systems Dynamic Control = ADistinction :D
WISP = A

i love it when the system always save the best for the last. so this is the final results of the last semester where many of my classmates thought i couldn't make it. i think this should shut them up by now. thank you Lord for this miracle.

don't aim for the impossible, pray for the impossible. :D

FINAL GRADUATING GPA: 3.8576

oh and thank God it's friday! what a great start to the day!

okay i am smiling for now, ain't that a great blessing ?

April Semester 2009

Current GPA: 4.0000

Cumulative GPA: 3.9129

Subject & Catalog Nbr	Module	Attempt	Grade	Supplementary Grade(if applicable)
AEROSPAC 1QSMM	QUALITY SYSTEM & MANUFACTURING MGT	1	A+	-
AEROSPAC 26INT6	6-MONTH INTERNSHIP	1	A+	-

October Semester 2008

Current GPA: 3.9310

Cumulative GPA: 3.8894

Subject & Catalog Nbr	Module	Attempt	Grade	Supplementary Grade(if applicable)
AEROSPAC 1ASAS1	AIRCRAFT STRUCTURE & SYSTEMS 1	1	A	-
AEROSPAC 1CADM	COMPUTER AIDED DESIGN & MANUFACTURING	1	A	-
AEROSPAC 5ED	ENGINEERING DESIGN	1	A	-
IS LS 1SAFETY	SAFETY AT WORK	1	A	-
IS LS 1UR	UNDERSTDG RELATNSHIPS: LOVE & SEXUALITY	1	B	-
MECHANIC 2SOM	STRENGTH OF MATERIALS	1	A+	-
MECHANIC 10AM	APPLIED MECHANICS	1	A+	-

April Semester 2008

Current GPA: 3.9375

Cumulative GPA: 3.8733

Subject & Catalog Nbr	Module	Attempt	Grade	Supplementary Grade(if applicable)
AEROSPAC 1AL	AIRWORTHINESS LEGISLATION	1	B+	-
AEROSPAC 1AMP2	AEROSPACE MATERIALS & PROCESSES 2	1	AD	-
AEROSPAC 1AS	AVIONICS SYSTEMS	1	AD	-
AEROSPAC 1MF	MECHANICS OF FLIGHT	1	AD	-
AEROSPAC 1TF2	THERMOFLUID 2	1	AD	-
IS IE 1IECOM	INNOVATION & ENTERPRISE IN ACTION	1	PX	-
MATH 2EM3B	ENGINEERING MATHEMATICS 3B	1	A+	-

October Semester 2007

Current GPA: 3.9200

Cumulative GPA: 3.8431

Subject & Catalog Nbr	Module	Attempt	Grade	Supplementary Grade(if applicable)
AEROSPAC 1AMMP	AERO MANUFACTURING & MAINT PRACTICES	1	A	-
AEROSPAC 1ETE	ELECTRICAL TECHNOLOGY & ELECTRONICS	1	AD	-
AEROSPAC 1FAT	FUNDAMENTALS OF AEROSPACE TECHNOLOGY	1	A	-
IS LS CATS	CREATIVITY AND APPLIED THINKING SKILLS	1	B	-
IS LS SW	SPORTS AND WELLNESS	1	PX	-
MATH 10EG2	ENGINEERING MATHEMATICS 2	1	A+	-
MECHANIC 1ENGMEC	ENGINEERING MECHANICS	1	A+	-

April Semester 2007

Current GPA: 3.7692

Cumulative GPA: 3.7692

Subject & Catalog Nbr	Module	Attempt	Grade	Supplementary Grade(if applicable)
AEROSPAC 1AMP1	AEROSPACE MATERIALS & PROCESSES 1	1	AD	-
AEROSPAC 1TF1	THERMOFLUID 1	1	AD	-
AEROSPAC 5EDCAD	ENGINEERING DRAWING & CAD	1	A	-
COMP 1COMPRO	COMPUTER PROGRAMMING	1	A+	-
IS COM 1COMT	COMMUNICATION TOOLKIT	1	C	-
IS LS IAC	INDIVIDUAL AND THE COMMUNITY	1	B	-
MATH 10EG1	ENGINEERING MATHEMATICS 1	1	AD

* taken from Ngee Ann Polytechnic. these are my past semesters results. enjoy! :)

This Is It

2010-03-19T02:14:00.003+08:00

get ready, because the results would be out in just another few hours. am i excited or feeling worried about it? i am having the best of both worlds actually, after a sudden relapse of what went wrong in this last semester. i hope i don't mourn tomorrow morning, still got lots of errands to run the whole day.

anyway, due to the high level of anticipation for the results, i couldn't sleep so i read the bible. and i completed the book of matthew! whooo hoooo! but there were some areas, i didn't understand though.

after being cooped at home for four days, i am finally making my debut outside! i need fresh air, normal meals, movies and seriously a lot of walking! the reason why i emphasized on meals is because i've been munching on bread, biscuits and maggie noodles which suck to the max!

shit, it's 2.30am already. finally getting tired ! bye.

oh and good luck to those getting the results late.r

Enchanted

2010-03-18T00:14:00.002+08:00

Korean music videos are very similar to each other, the only difference are the music artistes. But I love their variety shows, especially the recent couple in "We Got Married". Yes it's Seohyun from SNSD and YongHwa from CNBlue! I can't stop smiling at the laptop whenever Seohyun's eyes sparkle, yes her eyes do sparkle, and its hard to say "No" to her.

Eyes like hers definitely melt my heart. :p

Okay, SNSD latest music video just got online, so quickly go watch it! The name's called "Run Devil Run", quite a catchy phrase huh, I like that and them of course.

Taeyeon and Seohyun are both on my favorite list for this week! I wished I could choose between the both of them, or they choose me. *Looks at the Singaporean girls. No way, cannot make it la. Suka suka later anyhow make police report and sue me. I still cannot understand why most girls in our country are selling themselves at such a high price. Buying a mirror is cheaper than them, or chocolates, or even roses!

Okay better not go on further, if not I would end up looking for a maid. *Eh also not bad what, she would make the perfect wife, an all rounder! (:

Staying at home isn't really the best solution after all. I am heading out tomorrow! I gotta keep my sanity.

Negative

2010-03-17T00:14:00.002+08:00

Since the start of March, I can't seem to post anything happy about my life. I know it's getting boring reading about myself getting so emo over my brothers again and again. I will try my best to type a happy one, but apparently football today was a total joke. No wait wait, I was the joke. What's going on with me?

My dad's birthday ended in style after a quarrel with my mom. There was no celebration due to the cold war, but I was proud of myself. I bought a tub of Haagen Daz ice cream (Dark Chocolate and Cookies) as a gift for him. Fuck you if you think that's cheap, but after today, I am broke again for the week. Respect my filial piety, and not the money.

Next week, I will start work! Wonder what its like to travel by train in the early mornings to work though, it means I have to stand! Oh and that tapping sound of my EZ card, it is irritating and costly too. So much complaints, yet the pay is so little. Live with it arh...

I can't seem to find happy things to talk about. FML.

In A Total Mess

2010-03-16T00:15:00.002+08:00

It's just the start of Monday and I am fucked up already. Don't ask me what's happening, but rather ask:

"Why do you have such fucked up brothers?"

Fuck them. I am paying $2000 SGD to eliminate them. Who's interested?

Scored A Hat Trick

2010-03-15T01:45:00.002+08:00

James 1: 15

"Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin when it fully grown, gives birth to death."

I am thankful to God that I dragged myself to church, because the worship and sermon by Rev. Vincent was simply awesome. Yes, I re-read the book of Matthew last night, up to the part where Jesus explained about the seven deadly sins. After that, I headed to bed.

Today, God spoke to me through the sermon of the 3 deadly sins which were taken from the Old Testament, in the book of 2 Samuel 11: 1-15. Even the worship was beautiful, the selection of songs suited how I felt yesterday night. How I felt against those who didn't bothered to reply my text, how I felt against my brothers, how I felt against God.

Even though the soccer match was cancelled in the afternoon, I still scored a hat-trick, not goals but 3 deadly sins. Lust, complacency and murder.

I thought having lustful eyes was a gift in the past, but no, it's a sin. If you can look at women without any lustful desires, you are not a sinner. The truth is, men aren't good liars. In the bible, Jesus told the people to (gouge their eye/chop their hand) if it causes them sin, as it would be better rather than having the whole body to be tossed into the unquenchable fire.

Rev. Vincent sudden mention about porn really struck me in the heart. The similarity in porn and smoking/drugs is that they are bad for health. Porn causes memory losses and the latter causes lung/breathing problems. The only difference between them is you can download porn for free while you gotta pay for cigarettes and marijuana.

I'm a stingy person, so I don't belong to the smoker type. It's kinda obvious to know where I am standing at.

Yes, I admit I have been watching porn ever since I was secondary 2. All kinds of genres, except for gay. Honestly, you cannot talk about these kinda stuffs unless you have experienced it before. I know its disgusting, but yeah, better to be honest now in the eyes of God. Initially, it was not that serious, but slowly the buildup began and eventually I fell into it. I was sucked into this temptation to fulfill my lustful desires.

I have been stressing over this problem ever since the prayer meeting, when Pastor Daniel told us to find one corner and pray to God to listen to Him. I felt that this was what God wanted to me to do, just that I didn't have the courage till today. To overcome this sin, I have to face it and be honest about my problem.

Okay I am feeling very terrible and uneasy right now. I cannot expect my sin to grow any further, where it will eventually leads to death. I need your quiet prayers to help me through this problem and eventually I might even share a powerful testimony on overcoming this addiction of pornography.

I know there are many others out there who are also in the same boat with me. I don't have a genuine solution now, except to pray and fast about it. It's definitely difficult, but you and I just gotta hang on to Him. Allow God to re-light that fire within our hearts today!

As for murder and complacency, I shan't talk about that. I am too tired already. Good night reader.s

God Wants Me To Know

2010-03-14T01:36:00.002+08:00

The beauty of Facebook-ing is when God speaks to you through it.

The above phrase was typed at a time of 1.30am. Now the time is 2.08am.

During the interval, my mom scolded my two brothers again. My two brothers asked her to shut up and not to meddle in their lives. I am trying to keep my cool while typing this. Yes, frustration and anger is giving me the thought to take a knife from the kitchen and stab them continuously in both of their hearts. Then my mom would dial 999 and take me in. I might just seek forgiveness from God during my time in jail, then face the death penalty.

Why the fuck am I here living with my two brothers? Marcus, you should be glad that you are alone without any siblings. Cherish the moment with your grandparents and mom. Give another few more years, my mom would die earlier than most moms would. Fuck my life with these two brothers. Yes I know God placed them in my life, so I could change them. Right now, I totally give up in them. Well not exactly on the third one, but the second one I am prepared to kill him anytime.

I suddenly understood the feeling that NKT had when he first told me he hated his stepfather, and how he trained hard so that one day he could murder him. I get the thoughts of killing my own brothers, and its scary. Is that myself talking ? Why ? Why ? I am a child of God, and shouldn't I be a role model to the world ? To be the light and salt in my family ?

I feel fuck-ed up. Fuck my two brothers. Fuck those who din't bother to reply my sms-es. Fuck you. Fuck you when you ask me silly questions when you already knew the answer. Fuck you all, seriously.

I wanna break down, I wanna tell someone how fuck-ed up I am now. God, speak to me now. I am sorry that I harbored these evil thoughts, I am sorry when I don't practice what I preach, I am sorry that I never read the bible, I am sorry that I watch porn and tell my friends about it. I am sorry about a lot of things in my life. I know you love me, but I really need your assurance now. That you love me... I am a fucking sinner, with so many fucking problems, especially my two fucking brothers. But still, I want to thank you for all these. Because I wouldn't hang on without you, I wouldn't be down here to venting out all these to you God.

God, I am so fucked up that I worry everyday about money. Yes, I am in debts. Yet I keep spending on eating eating and eating. My mouth just cannot stop. Fuck myself, sometimes I just want to fast, but I can't. Fuck.

Right now, God help my brothers who are also spiritually lost. I bet they are feeling even worser than me. Help them to walk back with you, help them and me to cry out to you. Drinking wouldn't solve the problem, ice cream wouldn't solve the problem. God, come and help all of us to pull through and us up from that dark pit.

Help us help us help us. I will continue hang on onto you. Help me Lord not to harbor thoughts of killing my brothers, I don't even have the guts to kill a cockroach. Help my brothers, help my fucked up brothers, help my mom.

Help me...

Hiding Inside The Freezer

2010-03-13T19:15:00.002+08:00

If I had a chance to play a character in a movie, it would be Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars. He was called to be the chosen one among the few Jedi warriors, he fell in love with the woman of his life but soon fell into the dark side, in which he was known as Darth Vader.

Okay that was super random, after being cooped up the entire day at home. Yes, not only I missed the open house at NTU, I missed the food fest event too ! But one thing for sure, I did not miss my friends. Definitely.

Different people with different priorities. I cannot expect them to turn out like how I wanted them to be. The cruel truth about people today is the society we all live in. In the past, it was just about the porn, football, cycling and chicks.

Now, with the introduction of branded stuffs, driving licenses, clubs, pubs has made life even more interesting. Everyone is trying to impress in order to keep up with the society, and that is really a disappointment.

You become an outcast if you ain't owning any of the above mentioned.

You start to choose friends who are in the same category as you, you choose friends because they are of the same status. Sooner or later, when shit happens, these so-called friends aren't gonna be there for you. You just hear the reply: "Oh I am sorry."

And yes, I don't own a fucking driving license. And I will definitely hold on to my transport concession.

Friends are definitely a waste of your time. Enough of going back to the secondary school days already, grow up noobtheNick. These people ain't worth of your time. Help those who really need you.

Forget and forget about them.

Karma

2010-03-13T02:40:00.002+08:00

Someone told me this:

"Do not do to others what you don't want them to do unto you."

Yes, karma has hit me back. Wait, I shouldn't waste my smses anymore. (:

I should be positive, just smile and say "Oh I didn't know, sorry."

If anyone were to tell me this:

"Eh why nobody wanna meet up during the holidays?"

I would break his face, and reply:

"Oh you mean you still remember me? I am so sorry, I must have hit the wrong person."

Someone mentioned this in Facebook, that friends come and go. Friends aren't forever, they will be there when they need you, not vice versa.

Good friends will listen to your problems from the phone conversation and watch porn at the same time.

True friends will take you out to relieve all your problems and watch porn together. LOL just kidding.

If only I could exchange my friends for toilet rolls...

Alone In Wonderland

2010-03-12T00:53:00.002+08:00

Genesis 2: 18

" ¹⁸ The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

Ironically, one helper isn't enough/suitable nowadays for man. This is the world we're living in, sooner or later sodomy is coming to invade our society.

I often picture myself in the army, in the shower room with the recruits. The next moment, I accidentally dropped the soap bar, and as I bend down to pick it up... (It's up to your imagination, HAHA)

Would you...

1. Rather be alone in wonderland ?

2. Getting attached and heart broken at the same time ?

3. Racking your brains to get your dream girl but only to find out that you're being rejected or taken for granted ?

3 different scenarios, with only one outcome - FML.

Point 1 is interesting, because only the minorities choose this option. It's either they are plain ugly, plain disgusting or just plain gay. Why would people choose to be alone in wonderland ? Here are some answers which I've heard before :

"Oh, being single is great! No troubles at all, no need to accompany your girlfriend. I can do whatever I want."

"I've heard and seen many cases of breakups and divorces, I don't wish to be like them or go through that kind of hurt and disappointment."

"Cannot... I need to concentrate on my studies..."

"Oh sorry, I am gay."

Pathetic bunch of lousy answers. Yet another group of people who choose option 1 is because they don't know how to love. It's alright, if they met people like me, I would teach them and guide them so that they would choose option 3. From there on, they are on their own. Monks choose option 1 because they have no choice, no offence.

Point 2 is a pretty common thing you see in our society nowadays. Getting attached then BOOMZ! I am a victim/mastermind myself too, and breaking up 7 times is never easy.

But thankfully, all my ex-girlfriends are on talking terms with me. Phew! I know some of you guys out there have yet to open your golden mouth towards your ex-girlfriend/s. It's alright! You just have to take your time, make time and find an opportunity to start with all over again.

To forget the person you loved, requires the exact amount of time that you and her were once together. For example, if it took 3 years to be with your girlfriend, it takes 3 years to forget her.

Those who happened to be in option 2 are people who never gives up. You fall in love, then out of love, recuperate and you start looking for new love. Sounds adventurous! But bear in mind, the number of years in your youth-hood is limited.

The good thing you can look upon is that when you fall out from love, you still have good friends around who will be there for you to share your burden. Good friends whom you once forgotten the moment you were attached, and now they are back to cover your sad "ka-Cheng" ! (:

Don't worry, the good friends aren't the petty sort.

Only true friends are. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Point 3 comes after point 2, and you are on the same boat with me! In the single category! Point 3 can also refers to patching with your ex-girlfriend, only if you really love her or if she's super rich.

Okay for the "being rejected part", I cannot help you if she really doesn't like you. It's either your problem, or she's lesbian. For the "taking you for granted part", I also cannot help you. Sorry, the only solution I have is let God provide you with that helper, which means praying with faith for it.

I think point 3 is common sense. You just gotta come up with a lot of tactics. You can find resources from the libraries, like "how to chase a girl for dummies", or "how to be a good boyfriend" etc.

Never ever resort to unscrupulous methods like feigning innocence or making yourself sound like you are desperate for sex and blah blah, like booking a chalet and doing hanky-panky besides the barbeque part! You know who you are. (:

Racking your brain is stupid! Just be sincere, it must be from your heart. Never impress her before a relationship starts, if not you will be tired out even before the end of 6 months. Congratulations to those who passed the 2 months without sweating at all. Oh shit, that's not love, it's pure lust. HAHAHA!

I have a friend who's nice and gentle, but that girl took him for granted. He's that sort my mom commented that girls would fall for him, instead of me. I wonder why... Could it be his gentleness that's causing the problem ? Or the hair ? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

sorry la bro. I couldn't hold it anymore, I am laughing now while typing this!

Read and reflect about it. I might be wrong, but am always correct and accurate.

Job Hunting: Accomplished

2010-03-10T22:20:00.001+08:00

(This is case scenario 1...)

Man:

"Hi is this Nicholas ? Congratulations ! You have scored yourself a job with Singtel ! Would you come down to my office to seal the deal ?"

Myself:

"I am sorry. I just got a job with another company this morning already. Just sealed the contract with them a few minutes ago. (Why didn't you call me earlier ?) I am really sorry."

Man:

"Okay I see. Thank you. Bye."

__________________________________________________

Phone rang... (Case Scenario 2 )

Pretty Girl:"

Hi Nicholas! Good morning! Expecting you to be at your workplace having the interview right now, I am so anxious for you! Are you at the place right now ?"

Me still on the bed:

"Zzzz, Huh ? What ? Oh lobster, I am sorry I am still on my bed snoozing the alarm. Is it okay if I don't turn up at all ? Because I am really tired..."

Pretty Girl:

"Okay then! Take care! Bye!"

(I wasn't sure she was frustrated or disappointed, but definitely not happy judging from her tone.)

________________________________________________

Both scenarios happened before and after I sealed the deal with Recruit Express on the job they offered me. Yes, as of now...

"I AM FINALLY GONNA BE PAID! AND SOON I WOULD BE FREE FROM DEBTS!"

Not from debt collectors or loan sharks, but from my best friends and etc. I owed more than 100 bucks through them. Yes that's my current situation now, in addition, my bank account states "$2.65"

With this new job, I am determined to work hard to pay off my debts and start a saving scheme to manage my spending.

No more expensive coffee and frappe' at Starbucks or Coffee Bean. I shall settle for drinks at the coffee shop and mineral water.
Research on food and snacks which are cheap and provide the essentials to my body in maintaining my shape and health while trying to scrimp before enlistment.

Back to the above scenarios...

How practical can human beings be, one minute they are nice to you, the next minute you find yourself being stabbed at the back. But I have a portion of the blame to carry. I was too ambitious in my job hunting that I applied for almost everything I see on the net.

But still, customer service! Customers (myself) are always right !

Talk about customer service, I suddenly remembered something. Once I bought my Ipod Nano film protector, and I seek assistance from this guy who doesn't know shit about Apple products, to help me apply the film protector on my 300 bucks mp3 player.

I stood and waited for 30 minutes, with Teck Yi complaining beside me. I was so pissed with that guy because he kept tempering with my Nano and the film protector wasn't fit properly, eventually it was damaged. Lobster.

In the end, out of 9 assistants in that Apple shop, only one kind soul came up and took over the operation. Not only was my Nano protected with the film, I was also compensated a new set of film protectors. HAHAHA.

Readers who own a Nano can look for me, I can give you a good price on the film protector. $10 bucks only!

Is Man Kind?

2010-03-10T03:24:00.002+08:00

What is the first thing you want to do for the person you love ?

What do you see in that particular girl whom you have a crush on ?

How are you going to tell her "I like you" ?

When is the right time to confess your love for her ?

What happens if she says "no" ?

Why do you stammer whenever you see her ?

Why do you stutter when you speak to her ?

Where are you going to take her on a date ?

Where are you going to take her on a honeymoon after marriage ?

What impression would my family and friends have upon that girl I like ?

Do not worry, I have been through this before since Secondary One. A whole vast of experience, if only this could be included in my working resume. It seems that liking a person can cause headaches, or even migraines! To be honest actually, loving a person can bring joy to your life. That is, if you are being loved by many people, it can be your family, friends, relatives, colleagues and even God!

To love people, you gotta first understand the meaning of being loved.

From 1 Corinthians 13:4, we know that "Love is patient, love is kind, love does not envy, love does not boast, love is not proud."

But in our modern society, we see breakdown in relationships, divorces in families, resulting in kids growing up in an unhealthy environment, same gender relationships on the rise especially the females, and recently... Having many multiple affairs or sex partners behind their wives.

News about men having multiple affairs behind their wives' back are currently the new "in" thing ever since the Tiger got into trouble with sex addiction. Well, it's his life, and we cannot comment or complain too much about it. If not, we would be labelled as "sour grapes".

I understand if one has many multiple affairs with beautiful models and etc. But what really made me pissed off, is that my favorite local director has hooked up affairs which consists of many ugly girls who sell themselves at a high price. Seriously, get a life. If you wanna be famous, try harder. Bringing him down and using him as a media tool to get sympathy ain't gonna score any votes sister. Nice try though, ugly bitches.

Of course, men always take the bigger portion of the blame and guilt. For goodness sake, we can never stop being horny, which includes myself on the list. If you wanna do it, don't get caught! Now we are condemned because of all your actions. Lobster.

By looking at these men who have committed such a big mistake, it leads me to reflect on that very day when they made the vow to their brides saying "I do", after all the long-winded commitments being heard and written in black and white. Do they really meant what they said? Or they were just following like what was seen in the movies?

Mankind and man kind. Haha, what a joke.

To my future girlfriend, here are my thoughts if we want to have a relationship:

I don't wish to have a checkpoint/custom whereby I need to ask for your permission for football or hangout with my brothers/friends. This is because I respect you, and I trust you, and most importantly I love you. So no customs!

It doesn't matter if you can't do household chores, just whipped up some simple dishes and a good soup would do. Leave the hard work to me, and that includes washing the toilet.

Christianity must be your religion, and God first before our relationship. God must be the center of it all.

I will not promise you or give you assurances. Because promises are meant to be broken. I will be straight forward and honest about how I feel and you should also react in the same manner. Of course, this will naturally lead to an intense talk. (:

Sounds like a proposal eh ? I will try my best to be a good boyfriend la. I am still in learning to kill away my ego.

Urgh, I am so tired. Wait wait, why am I writing all this?

I'm still single!!!

Money, money, money

2010-03-08T14:31:00.003+08:00

I don't keep piggy banks, which explains well I don't save at all, occasionally just throw my coins around the house. As of now, I am broke for this week, after cabbing last night from Pasir Ris. Missed the last train by just a few minutes, lobster. I don't wish to repeat myself again, but I don't have any more pockets to keep my stuffs anymore! Got a lot of holes on them now.

I don't need a tailor, I need a rich girlfriend. (Just kidding)

Okay, I was supposed to go for a job training in the morning. I woke up at 7am, and stoned on the floor for about 15 minutes thinking whether I should go for it. Circulating through my mind were that attractive pay of $1500 and thoughts of promoting stuffs on the streets.

I have been seeing people selling their products around Causeway Point, from companies such as HSBC, Standard Chartered, and etc. I hate that, working under the hot weather and promoting your own products.

I wasn't sure what the job training was all about, eventually I switched my phone and continued to sleep.

I am jobless, again.

Money makes the world go round, no money makes my head go round (BIG HEADACHE!).

Somebody call the bank!

A day I felt stupid

2010-03-06T01:42:00.003+08:00

I've always thought I was the smartest among my friends, even though my grades weren't that perfect, until today. It was my first time to Raffles' Institution, and the surroundings were an eye-opener to me! It wasn't due to the design of the campus, but those beautiful yet elegant ladies lurking around the campus that were taking away every minute of my focus! I would definitely not make it for my A levels if I'm stuck there, but my love life would make an exciting roller coaster ride during the 2 years. Monica, if you are reading this, you are part of the team too okay! :D

Beautiful, stunning, and elegance were words that running throughout my head in that hall where students were frantically panicking about their results, while I was just standing there and exercising my eyes. I can honestly tell you, I have never seen so many beautiful ladies especially when you are stuck inside one hall, and its just one of the many halls in that institution! WALAOEH!

Okay the main focus for today is to congratulate Monica! I accompanied her down to her school and fortunately she wasn't like other students, crying and whining and etc. She was calm and composed, like Cristiano Ronaldo, and upon receiving the results...

DIST

CONGRATULATIONS! :D

That's it. Straight to the point, and straight A's all the way.

I feel so stupid suddenly when I walked into that campus. Either way, I am so determined to send my children inside there!

Sweep floor la, you think can study there meh? LOLOL!