the most stressful point of my life? when it comes to project work, not the percentage of it but the teammates that have landed on them. yes they are like ticking time bombs, to stop them from detonating i've to cut the wires or swallow all of their bombs. these are people that you don't want to be friends with, let alone hang out with them. they can be your acquaintances or your Facebook friends but please don't get close to them, they might leech or "rape" your work performances. it's the same when it comes to the army, the phrase also known as "chao keng", its not unusual to see this genre of people in your platoon. sometimes, they could be your buddy, and that's a nightmare. they can share absolutely an abundance of knowledge to the naive ones, and your reaction would be like: "are you serious? wow! you are too good to be true! you can dig the shell scrape in less than one hour?!"

the truth is, they never ever been to outfield, due to their "i-think-i-am" problems.

i think i am unable to participate due to my bad stomach pain.

i think i am unable to participate due to wrist pain, this pain that pain.

and the list goes on...

get a life, "chao keng" warriors. your parents must be pretty pretty disappointed in you. LOL.

recently i have been pretty angst when i see this category of people, their sight irks me.

the deathly hallows is definitely worth a second watch (:

my birthday is coming.

2010 is coming to an end.

i am still single.

friends around me are getting married year by year.

i can still kick a soccer ball and my idol is cristiano ronaldo.

i got a gold for ippt.

my journey with the air force is an exciting one, with a lot of faces coming in and out of my life, i've learnt a lot from them too.

girls nowadays are going for ugly yet wealthy guys.

guys are doing the reverse psychology to spite the girls back

what for?

LOL

are all women really fanatic about hygiene or housework? i seriously don't know why. even my previous commanders in bmt aren't as fussy as my mom. she keeps talking about household and tidiness and blah blah, please please just stop. i am turning 20 and yet i have to put up with such nonsense, i am already troubled with my own problems at work and with myself. i am seriously screwed up. the only consolation is my pilot interview, even so, the results would only be out on monday! my mom keeps mopping the floor and vacuuming and shouting at me over a strand of hair in the house! do you think she is being over sensitive? phew oh my goodness, this is too much. so much for listening skills, i can't even stand that 100db for more than 5 minutes. its worst enough that i have no room of my own, no privacy. i can't expect to hide in the store room forever.

if my wife is as fussy as my mom, may god take over this life of mine.

i know everyone likes living in a clean and comfortable environment, our house is definitely more cleaner than our neighbors' combined together. so why complain? looks i am going to kiss my weekends in december goodbye already. i deserved it, but please don't add any more fuel to my life already.

i go to work everyday with this sense of fear, fear that i might be out of course due to any stupidity i might create at work. i am getting more and more timid, and this isn't the real me. i want to have more guts, i want to overcome myself, i want to lead people, i want to be an inspiration. and when i die, i want them to remember who i was.

i need to have balls of steel. if i want to grab that girl's number, i will not hesitate nor chicken out. i will approach her and be a gentlemen. but that's not the point. the point is - i need to take charge of my life and not let others say or comment on how i should lead myself.

my mom is too obsessed with the household, no wonder my family is going to bits and pieces. my brother who is struggling with academic doesn't seem to appreciate school, and she keeps reprimanding him without even trying to help him. my dad just sticks to the laptop all day long. second bro is a pure dumb fag who doesn't give a shit about what family is, and all he cares about is himself and money.

sometimes, can i still worship and praise him despite all these? i know god is bigger than all these, i know i know i know. but i don't seem to have this connection with him, its either the router's damaged or my faith has been dropping like flies. i need god's grace to be upon me all the time, i am imperfect. i need god's mercy to be upon my tongue and mind. i need god to be protect me against evil. sometimes i will think that the devil is actually me.

crap i am having so much thoughts running through that i am gonna break the commando's timing.

now here comes part 2: mom versus dad - over the slightest thing again. why can't there be co-operation? why can't there be love?

do i still want to get married? do i still want to have kids?

i think i might have to think more than two times.

Lost in time.

It doesn't feel right especially when all your army buddies (almost all the guys from my mobile contact) have to book in on a Sunday night. Pondering on the difference between "This is bad" or "This is good", I seriously don't know which one I belong to. It's almost a month now being a half civilian and half military-man. I have so much time in the world now to spend, but on what?

1. Worship

2. Youth Camp

3. Fitness training

4. Gaming

I don't know how to begin on the reflection of worship. I need inspiration.

What I am thinking now, is a record that I wanna break. 7 days and counting... Let's see where this will take me to.

God willing.

BMW @ Marina Bay Sands!

This is for you Marcus Lim!~

* Credits to the photographers who were at MBS.

Lan lan lan!

Sinong & Joe's blessed wedding!

Lost in the streets of Sichuan.

Choy's birthday celebration!

I was browsing through my older posts in Facebook and saw a phrase on my wall which stated: "Something special is gonna happen this week, something big." Yes, this phrase was typed by me last week, and following after that something big really happened - I got charged. How coincidental.

The situation is starting to become neutral as the days pass, however my physical fitness is also starting to drop rapidly due to not exercising for almost 3 weeks already. Soon it will become a crisis for me if I don't start to do something, or run.

Another 3 weeks or more before my brother Marcus is returning home, I think by that time our soccer skills should be able to thrash him completely by the rate he is enjoying life there. HAHA. I seriously hope he remembers ( fill in the blank ) us!

Praise

I spent some time reading on the importance of praise. It's simple, praising God wherever we are. It could be at work, at school or even in the army. As for myself, I praised God in my sleep (slept almost the entire day at work) with my Ipod. And it's the bad times that my praise for Him should be even greater, because it is a source of power to battle against my worries and struggles with my ill-discipline and the consequences that have yet to be confirmed against me.

Ade suggested that I should come up with a list of prayer items. Cool.

Praise God in times of good and evil and bad.

Well I got busted, I got scolded, I am staying low for some time. Mom and Dad are still ignorant of it. God is still with me and He will pull me through out from all these, I just know it.

Indeed it was a lesson learnt for me: Don't and never be caught again, be shrewd and wise.

I will be back.