previous posts from wordpress

hi guys! here are some of the posts from my wordpress. enjoy:)


20.08.08

i know i can, i know i can, cause i have Jesus with me! yes i can!

it's quite a neutral feeling even though it's two weeks away from the immersion trip. i am not sure whether i am excited at the prospect of being a student leader, after yesterday's heated argument with the aerospace gentlemen. to make an appointment with me before my flight, you can either email, text or phone me. i will be available for the next entire week. hahaha :)

yes it's the final paper tomorrow, but i am not mugging! i shall start after this post...

people are suffering everyday, even in our own society. nkt once mentioned to me that going for missions are a waste of time. "why should we go out to help people when we ourselves are having problems too? first solve our own problems then we can focus on going on missions to help those in need."

honestly i was quite disappointed in this answer/excuse. yes it's true that we have have our own problems to ponder on, but does that restricts us from reaching out to the unreached people? NO. it's a stand i have to make, not even the mountains are able to waiver my decision on becoming a missionary in the next few years. looking back at the above mentioned trip, and as i am typing this post, i suddenly got back that adrenaline urge to want to get out of town now. if we were to first solve our problems then reach out to the unreached, by that time armageddon would have come to annihilate every living thing in this world. it's an excuse, and we are being selfish.

i hope this would leave us to do our own self reflections... sometimes in life, it's not always about us.

your friendly neighbourhood,

spiderman

19.08.09

right after the final attachment presentation, i was touched by some of my classmates who waited for me at makan place.

and an argument took place in just a few minutes over my presentation.

i thought everyone was joking, and suddenly the situation became so tense up, and i felt everyone was against me.

yeah thanks for making it happened because the china trip is coming. i slammed the glass door which shocked everyone in the canteen. fortunately i did not got into any fights.

(after a few hours of sleep......)

looking at the incident above, i am just damn childish.

somehow, i have a feeling someone wants to see this happen within the class.

call me judgmental or sensitive, but if anyone tries to wreck the bond between me and my friends. you have a little harder.

push me abit more, and i might break your face in china. trust me.

the first to present, the first to impress, and the first to leave a lasting impression. i can't be arrogant though, God brought me through this entire week. i was guilty of not seeking Him during the lowest periods since this week and the past few days.

but i tell myself: "hang on spiderman, think of the bigger picture that God has planned for the upcoming road ahead. "

i will be starting to post my thoughts and recordings in wordpress. kinda addicted to it though.

i shall reward myself with more sleeping hours before starting on the next revision for the final test this friday, yeah damn pathetic. :(

time really flies, in a blink of an eye, 6 months have passed... life in the working society will be another difficult journey. oh well i shan't be too far-fetched.

come on! nicholas! you have to persevere and be humble.

17.08.09

i am still exploring wordpress so forgive me if you find this blog abit dull. anyway i just want to comment that i have finally finished my final report on the industrial attachment programme. my sister neo is still in the midst of 'chiong-ing' hers, oh well guess our dinner date would have to be postponed again.

one thing i like about wordpress is the way they format the writing style, also at the same time it brings out this adrenaline rush within me to want to post something here. maybe i am new to this environment, after being with blogger for so many years. looking back, i have written about 572 posts on my life biography.

someday when i have kids, i want to compile everything into an autobiography for them, so that they may know more about me through reading it. it's hard sometimes for parents nowadays to show love on their kids, maybe that's the reason why my brothers are causing a mess in the family, sometimes even worse than the typhoon in taiwan.

being in singapore is such a blessed thing, even though there were slight tremors due to the earthquake that hit sumatra, we stood strong.

i am blessed that i have my limbs and health, i am blessed that everything is provided, i am blessed that my weekly allowance is more than others. i shouldn't see the reason to complain, but it often happens. i must never take all these for granted. maybe i should remind those around me to cherish what they now and be contented, not be blinded by temptations around them. seriously, temptation is a very powerful tool that can turn the life of a man 360 degrees, and once you are hooked with it, its hard to get out. i wish i could get out of mine, and hopefully cover that dark pit with something so that i may never walk into it again.

if you are faced with temptations, how do you overcome it? well prayers are one effective way, the other method... i strongly discourage it - "walking into it to overcome temptation". that is bullshit, walking into it doesn't solve the problem, in fact you will become the problem.

damn random with my thoughts, i need to stop and start on my presentation slides.

till then,peace out

15.08.09

okay i am going to chengdu for an immersion programme, and china happened to ban blogger. so here i am using wordpress for the very first time.

i have managed to find my way through here, thank God.

recently this week has been a blow to me, i need to talk to someone i know closely. i realize friends aren't really the solutions. Calvin told me that as time goes by, friends are people whom you depend on, but the dependency level isn't that strong. looking at my situation now, i have no choice but to agree to his words.

now, i am on my own.

many times people tell me to pray and seek God, the truth is, i don't. many times i tried to cry and release all my emotions, and it failed.

Calvin once told me to give a serious consideration on choosing the right path in life, religion is some sort of a self-assurance when you are down on the bottom rocks. but what exactly is the right path? even if i chose the right one, will it be an easy one for me?

i want to experience God and listen to Him whisper to my ears, but somehow it doesn't seem to happen. my life right now after the attachment is advancing like a bullet train.

yes i want to see a change in my life, a good one. not a life being destroyed or ruined by my own hands.

i am really hanging on, and any moment if i let go, it's the end of everything.

that evil tooth of mine

dentist: hi! is this your first time here?
noobthenick: yeah, name's nicholas but you can call me tonight :)
dentist: okay fill up this form and we'll attend to your problems.
noobthenick: sure

(AHHHHHHHHHHHH...)

dentist: just abit more and here we go, okay thank you and hope to see you again. =D

that lady dentist really melted my heart while my teeth was being treated by her. being mesmerized by her, i told myself there would be a next time. so i proceeded to the cashier, and to my horror...

cashier: mr. nicholas, your total bill for today = $250.
noobthenick: (*super stunned look, looks at pocket and knives stabbing into his heart)
cashier: hope to see you again arh!
noobthenick: yeah, hopefully.

should have known i would have become a dentist instead of being a aerospace engineer.

sian...

mom and dad would also be shocked, some more i have not get my overseas allowances from him! oh oh, not a word of complaint. *lun...

parental guidance

friend: "i will always be there for you."
noobthenick: "sure?"
friend: "absolutely."

(some random stuff happened...)

noobthenick: "hey thought you were supposed to be a friend, to be there for me..."
friend: "sorry, had something to attend."


it's true that a friend would stand by your side in times of troubles, but not always. even i am also guilty of that.

i could still remember a few years back when i got caught for stealing a pathetic chocolate bar at the supermarket, with my dud friend joash ong. no one showed up to bail the both of us out, except our parents.

another incident that happened was during a detention in school, i argued the vice-principal and broke down badly in the office. eventually my parents were the ones who had to clear up the mess.

third incident was during the molestation case that happened when i was in secondary two, who came to see the discipline master? my parents.

in times of financial difficulties, who provided the funds for me to go overseas and living expenses? obviously my parents.


thousands of illustrations to describe how great and sacrificial our parents are, and yet nowadays we take them for granted. from an infant till the way i look now, they had neither uttered a single word of complaint nor regret about giving birth to us. not only do we not appreciate their love for us, our expectations from them grew even higher according to the living standards in the society.

we complain about not getting enough allowances from our parents, we complain about not getting the extra incentives other children are getting nowadays, we complain about this and that. sometimes i feel like throwing all these rotten kids into those third world countries and let them have a taste of the life there.

that's it, i had enough. whatever allowance my dad or mom is giving me for the china trip, i am going to accept it without a word of complaint.

i don't understand why i am ranting my thought here, but i believe that we should really cherish our parents now while we can. i really cherished the time with mom during the buffet dinner just now. we had a ride on the mercedes limo cab down to hotel rendevous and savoured all the seafood and cold dishes.

super ex to the max. it was actually a treat before i leave for china, and i really appreciated it and cherished that period of time during dinner.

thank you mom. thank you Lord for the preparation you have made for the both of us. :)

"when a friend tells you he/she will always be there for you, think again..."
noobthenick

the week before the chendol trip

the 10km nike human race marathon is out now! i can't seem to navigate the way to the registration website. can anyone help?

i want to go for a movie treat now! is anyone interested?

the week ahead would be a very busy one for me, and i am still slacking at home. i know i have a lot of planning to do now, but there's no motivation to push myself ahead.

i would miss everyone in singapore once i am in chendol. to make an appointment with me, please text me one day earlier to prevent any clash in the schedules. hahaha!

i really have no mood to blog. till then.

post cabin crew training pictures

do you have the Nicholas inside you?

readers please hook me up on wordpress. the url is www.noobthenick.wordpress.com.

deadliest disease

"thursday marked the end of my attachment at tiger airways. it was an honour to meet Mr. Calvin Tan, who became a mentor and friend to me. although there weren't any farewell celebration, i knew i would be running alongside with him for the full marathon come december the 6th.

i've been appointed the student leader for the chengdu trip, and assigned to organize a cultural night programme during the lantern festival. the question is, am i happy about it? or is it the final report that is making me very impatient over several matters that i am beginning to fall back into my old self.

fmc, that is the abbreviation that i will be implementing from now onwards. up to you guys to comment or whatsoever. seriously, the end of the attachment should come with a celebration. there was one though, and some of us were not invited along, cause it requires a license. hilarious. eventually the remaining decepticons were chilling out at makan place. how am i going to china with a heart of expectancy and anticipation? those times in year two were the greatest of all, those good old times. if i had a choice right now, i would head for innova with my current o level grades.

home should be a peaceful place, and often i hear screams and cries of complaints. sometimes it feels like pearl harbour, fuck it. i don't think i can ever make it even before i reach NS. might as well go china and fuck around, out of this place once and for all.

i just hate the month of august. FML & FMC."

why am i like that? in good times, i praise God. in bad times, i run away from Him.

i have been diagnose with this disease, and only One can heal it. no doctors in this world have the cure for it. sin is the deadliest disease that all men have it.

if u can conquer your own heart, you will definitely conquer the world. but can you?

help me please?

the piece of paper

a company testimonial from my supervisor, after 6 months of the internship programme.

let us do a comparison between two reports, report A and report B.

report A is beautifully done, it has fulfilled whatever sections on the report format, but there is no sign of any company testimonial found in the report.

report B however, lacks of quality and content, and the thickness of the whole report is not as impressive as report A. but report B possesses that piece of paper that report A doesn't have. and that piece of paper, is the company testimonial.

who do you think will score a better grade?

the answer is none. why?

i will be the one scoring the better grade among these two reports. i have the quality, and i have the testimonial in my hands. all i have left now, is to finish up the report and get ready for the final presentation.

phew~ just received news that lean manufacturing project have been screwed up, looks like another day for completing the report is wasted...

no worries no worries

two more days to the end of my attachment, i have not finish my final report yet. deadline is this friday, i have no one to blame but myself for being lazy and procrastinating. 'no worries' is my current motto to keep me going through this week, the dark moments are finally here.

help me.

perseverance, determination, wisdom and knowledge, i need all these to spur me on.
i've missed out on soccer because of my stupid lack of discipline to complete my report, now i have to pay the consequences by burning more midnight oil, and it isn't really helping me abit at all.

help me.

final presentation is next week, professional preparation programme, preparations for china trip, all these i have not done...

help me.

blessed birthday singapore

being ranked the top 10th most expensive city in the world, singapore finally turns 44 years old.

on the 8th august of saturday, many things happened:

1. math tuition programme
2. personality test programme
3. slacking with heartbeatz
4. shopping with wei qian
5. billy's birthday celebration dinner
6. trip to geylang and east coast park
7. home sweet home.

i don't see myself making any effort to finish up on my final report. how to stand up for singapore?

this year's national day would be rather special, at the time of 8.22pm, everyone would stand together as one and say the pledge. i am excited about today's programme, hopefully there would be another gathering to catch the fireworks!

once again a blessed birthday to singapore.

P.S: i still have that smelly beancurd taste in my mouth.

romantic love v.s love?

wei qian probed me on a question during the journey to campus: 'what's the difference between romantic love and love?'

definition of love
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love

definition of romantic love
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romance_(love)

in my opinion, romantic love is expressed between both man and woman, an in-depth type of love as compared to love itself. love takes on many forms, such as parental love, friendship love, or even materialistic love. love can be expressed in different feelings, states and actions.

love is a very powerful tool. without it, the world would be in chaos, outbreak of wars, racial discrimination among people and violence would be inevitable. love connects people around us, and naturally relationships with people will become stronger.

i am going to china with my classmates, and i have a gut feeling bad things will come and destroy the bonding among everyone. politics will rise, betrayals among friends, competent attitudes over grades, all these and more will definitely come. i need a solution before that day comes.

this month would be a very dark month for me. it could be probably be one of the darkest period of the year. i really need the power of God's love, to prevent all this nonsense from happening.

Lord, help me to love others just as You have shown Your love and grace onto us. Grant me a heart of mercy, so that I can forgive these people just as You have forgiven my sins. It is by Your perfect and beautiful love, that all these things can be put to a stop. And Lord I pray, to take away my mistakes, and destroy them. So that I will not ponder on these things, and continue to walk with You and serve You through the works which you have prepared along the walk with You.

Thank you Lord Jesus Christ. Amen Amen.

i have to relax my nerves, if not i would experience rashes outbreak.

Simple Faith

simple faith is hope that cannot be seen with a naked eye. outside in the working society or the real world, we often think too much about our faith, sometimes to the extend until our faith becomes doubt. people who have simple faith are those whom the Lord blesses and reward them secretly. i ask myself: "do i have simple faith?"

when uncle boon ann shared about simple faith and being hungry and desperate to pray. i am ashamed of myself for not being a faithful person towards God. sometimes i feel like a pharisee, like the older brother mentioned in the book of luke. i am glad the prayer meeting made me felt connected to God once again. working life is a form of testing of my simple faith. yet again, i failed to discipline myself in some aspects of my life.

i must pray more and yearn for that simple faith and love from God. i want to be the older brother who is willinh to deny himself and become his own servant. i want to stop procrastinating and act now.

though i know i will start off well, but can i end well too?

Loo-ney Tunes.

a blessed happy birthday to billy loo who has turned 19th today!

one week left... the final countdown... you can do it noobthenick.

God has spoke to me on 'our daily bread' page via facebook!

“If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land” (2 Chronicles. 7:14).

1. i have signed up for standard chartered full marathon - 42.195km.

- i am quite interested at the number 42.195 km, why not 42.00 or 42.2km? can anyone provide an explanation?

2. billy's birthday celebration

- chiong and have fun!

3. as usual, work

- no comments

4. chengdu trip.

2 corinthians 4:13-18

Dear Lord,

Thank you Lord for Monday and the well spent time with the people at work, help me to face my fears and struggles and weaknesses oh Lord. I pray that You will come and touch my heart, and take away all these burdens and sins away and destroy them for Your sake. I pray that whatever I do, these words, thoughts and actions that come out from within my heart shall be pleasing to You and Your kingdom.

Help me Lord, take all my mistakes away and destroy them. Guide me to the road of servanthood.

Amen

A farewell to the month of July

one two three, four five six, seven... the eighth is coming all the way to the twelfth.

i came across this note yesterday on 'what if your ex said', and there was an adrenaline rush prompting me to attempt that note. i was bombarded by a series of questions and how i would respond to those following questions. some answers were jokes obviously, some were not and in total it took me about 30 minutes to complete that piece of heartbreaking note.

a time machine is the definitely the best solution that everyone could imagine, bringing me back to salvage my wreck relationship two years back. if possible i want to travel even further back to those times in the New Testament, and really open up my eyes to see that period when Jesus Christ walked the earth.

i am definitely confused, i thought i had move on with life and everything seemed normal for me. yet at times, when i see stuffs or travel to places that i have been with her, the memories just come back. but the problem is two years had already passed, so why am i still pondering over such things?

there are so many things in life i want to achieve, and deadlines to meet. but surely there should be a balance between personal stuffs and love? my boss shared with me his experiences when he was young like me, and reminded me not to take life seriously, just get out there and enjoy while my youth is still present. because when the older one gets, the level of regret escalates even higher.

i can't seem to convey a message in this post, i am way out of point of writing this. i want to find back that fire for a relationship, and yet i hesitate. i am afraid of this and that, assignments, deadlines, rejections and embarrassment. even if i find that girl, i can't initiate any special feelings like i did previously. is my expectations too high, or am i just plain pathetic?

august is coming, and i am not definitely not excited about it.

Just another day...

the moment my feet touches the ball, magic just comes to life. dazzling moves and superb goals, that's what all football players dream to achieve. i am starting to feel more comfortable with my dribbling, however the defence has been declining ever since i took the attacking role in the game. in the past, i love playing at the back, it requires lesser stamina and all you have to do is steer the ball away from my own goal post. if i had a chance to choose between fame and fortune, i rather be in the limelight because it's in my blood.

i am an adaptive player who can almost connect with any player within the team, one particular problem in the past about me is i am not fond of listening to commands from team mates. being arrogant in nature, it's difficult to get these commands into my head. however, the good news is i am willing to listen now.

i love to create chances for my team mates to score, that feeling is much better than scoring. i wonder if there are readers who belong to this group, but in a team, you can't expect everyone to be like that, no one will eventually score.

second problem is the fear of losing. players around me would definitely agree with me, i tend to make negative remarks when the team loses and worst still, crude words coming out from my mouth. having the quote of "your response could be better" seems effective in helping one to cultivate his mood better when in the soccer court.

the reason i am writing this football topic - this sunday's match. another upcoming church game, though i know i will screw up again like last time, there's one thing i know the entire team will never miss, which is the supporters. i think without them we wouldn't have that particular driving adrenaline rush to play to our best. i wonder what it feels like playing in a stadium filled with tens of thousands over fans cheering for you?

you score, they celebrate. you make one mistake, they condemn you till you're dead.

peace out.


P.S: 2 more weeks left to the end of attachment.

Sea Sunday

i was punctual for church service, and it was perfect. today is also known as sea sunday, a day to be remembered for the 1.2 million seafarers all around the world. it was a great service, when the speaker shared with us about the lives of these seafarers', and it is such a blessed thing to be at home with my family and friends. to be out at the sea for months is not a pleasant thing at all, we can't predict when the storms would come, or the waves would rage upon the ships. but no matter whether we are high above the skies or down below the seas, God is with us. Amen.

i received a reprimanding message from my supervisor this afternoon. it seems like whatever i do, i just can't get things done the way they are. as the attachment is coming to its end, i really hope to get back to school like the old times. i can't imagine what my life would be if i were to start working full time, like adelene or elaine. maybe i might attend the j.u.m.p talk session to see how i can maintain my biblical roots while staying focused in the fast-moving society.

in the past, whatever mistakes that we committed, we are still kids after all. but turning from 18 to 19 doesn't makes us kid any longer. more responsibilities and burdens come as we grow older, friends come and go in our lives, i am so glad i have some who are still stuck with me, and i really cannot take them for granted. sometimes it sucks being an adult, you have to be the role example for the younger ones, become the mr. know-everything to prevent yourself from losing out to others. imagine if i start serving the country, wonder what kind of person i will be. still the same? only God knows.

the attachment period made me reflected throughout all this while, and i felt that i have really grown mature among my fellow classmates. not being boastful or what, but it seems every week when i go back for lessons, they are still stuck in their own fantasy world. come on, it has been 2 years plus of schooling inclusive of the internship, surely there would be some slight changes in their lives? maybe there are, or maybe i am just being too judgmental of them.

i have my own set of flaws and weaknesses, and i am willing to change them, through the help of my friends and God. and i am thankful of who i am today, because of them.

yesterday i was standing in front of a big crowd organizing icebreakers, it is really nerve-wrecking for me. sometimes i love acting and crapping in front of my friends, because i feel comfortable. but once i am out of that zone, everything starts to feel different. in life, not everything is about me, in the end everything still boils down to servant hood. yes i love being in the lime light, but maybe the role of game master would open my eyes and heart to even greater things.

if i could put pure smiles, joy and laughter from these people's hearts, then i would have achieved the meaning of being a game servant. of course, i need more committed people to help me along the way, cause it's not about me alone, it's about the team! :)

phew... finally got everything out from my chest. that felt better

peace out!

Spiritual gifts that I possess

it was a good well-spent saturday with the loccw people in the house of God, especially when it's the official day of our personality test, and the attendance was great, though it could be even better. there was only one point we must really emphasize, and that is time management. if punctuality was emphasized, then games session wouldn't be that long, allowing more time for the sharing session and everyone would head back home on time.

just abit of sidetracking, yao jun just posted my previous essay on facebook, gaining quite a few recognition from my fellow aerospace mates. it felt satisfying having to see so much positive comments and encouragement from them.

thank you arh hengtai. :)

so i was spending quite some time on attempting 184 questions for the first round of the spiritual personality test. you know, there are actually so many gifts and talents inside the bible, of course each of us possess some of them, but not all. God created each and everyone of us to be unique and special towards Him. not having all the gifts and talents allow us to need each other for support, be it in times of struggles or in team work. i thought about it and related this to the run we had yesterday - 7 runners, 1 race. and another food for thought would be our percussion team - different races, different cultures, 1 sound.

wow, i finally understood. we need each other, however we do need to remember to learn to guard our "strengths and uniqueness" while relating to people.

okay after the series of questions, here are the spiritual gifts that i possess:

*1. Encourager
2. Showing mercy
3. Teaching

*Starting from the highest.

point number 2 was seriously out of the point, but then again, i know God has His reasons for granting this gift to me. maybe i have too much hatred inside me that i couldn't express this gift and multiplying it to others. the rest of the points were definitely accurate. i like encouraging people and enjoy teaching. but whether it is both the good or bad, depends on what the learners feel about me.

now that i know i possess these spiritual gifts, i am going to learn to apply in my life with people and with God. it's really difficult given the situation in my family and in class where there are lots of politics. i do need to open up my heart and listen to people rather than to jump to conclusions and judge people.

next week would be another great one, and hopefully jin wan and marcus will come back to cell group in the pink of health and free of injuries. :)

till then, peace out. tomorrow there's church service!

Glory for the Aerospace Technology!

yesterday for the first time in history, both the school of engineering and the aerospace technology bagged down 2 golds in the runner's relay 2009.

7 runners, 1 ultimate race.

Glory to Aerospace Technology!

Team members: Norman Leow, Subaa (Year 1), Teng Yao Jun, Nicholas Ng, Poh Yi Cheng, Camille Harris, Alvin Tan.

2 aerospace teams signed up for race, leaving one team to put their names in history. both teams showed their passion and the attitude in running, and a time of a mini team bonding session too. especially when our team mates ran on the track, we would be beside them cheering and spurring them on. this team spirit which we had yesterday could never possibly be found in lectures or tutorial sessions. it was one of the best or maybe the best friday we could ever had. not forgetting those who never ran but stayed to support the teams, we dedicated this honor and glory to you guys too.

sadly both teams had been inflicted with sickness and injuries, but yet it's their heart of willingness that me wanted to give it all out in running this race. take for example my pal zhi yuan, he did not had lunch, and he ran the 1.2km route without hesitating. after completing the race, he sat without moving and became very weak. everyone was there to show care and concern for him, there was one girl in the other team who was sick, and yet she ran. it's really amazing how these people showed their faith and that fiery passion for running.

taking this moment, both teams would like to thank nicholas keith tam for doing all the backstage work, especially all the admistrative and contacting of people to join the team. there were time when clowns would be try to be funny with you, but at least we got back the cup for our course. and without all your work, i don't think anyone of us would take the initiative to sign up for the relay.

thank you...

to those that backed out from the team, i sincerely thank you because it's your lack of faith and full of lame excuses that led those who have it join the team. it's okay that you don't run, we won't despise you, just continue to live your life that way. once again, a big thank you to you.

today would be the first time that i would be taking the first personality test, the authentic one as compared to facebook. what type of personality will i possess???

P.S: liverpool are in singapore already! catch tomorrow's match live 7.00pm only on channel 5.

Taking it for granted

sitting in front of my laptop, thoughts began running through my mind. looking back the mission trip i went, it's as if it was just yesterday, and i have returned back to singapore not long ago. after the attachment with tiger airways, i would be embarking on a journey to another province in china, a study trip with all my classmates to chengdu. i hope to use this opportunity to get out of town with full of distractions surrounding me, i really need to take a breather and refreshen myself during the 6 weeks period.

i just watched an episode of 'stars changing hearts' on channel u. the artiste mindee ong travelled to some random mountainside area in china to provide voluntarily work, to simplify it, it was a sort of mission trip which lasts for about a week there. there were many different tribes of the different languages, mindee went to the 'baoyu' tribe area where she laid her focus on a population mostly made up of elderly and abandoned children. fortunately the people there were all people of God, they have a church there too! this programme brought me back many memories and some reflecting points while i was in china last year doing my first ever serious missionary work.

i felt quite disappointed with myself, ever since i came back and all the way till now, i am back in my old self, taking whatever i have in possession for granted. looking at those children who have lost their parents at such a young age, i wonder why my 2nd brother would behave in this manner, showing disrespect and worst still, cursing my mother right in front of her face. yes we humans have feelings, it's fine that we feel frustrated at times, but not to the extent that we let our feelings take control of our mind and words. it is not the outside that makes a man sin, it is what comes out from our heart that makes him/her sin.

i am living in a society full of temptations and different types of people. everyday i see people getting what they've always wanted, doing what they liked without a heck in the world, but they only realize their regrets after something disastrous takes place. why is it that when things happened, people realize their mistakes? why can't they just take precautions and prevent it? the question is why?

i hope the upcoming china trip would be a series of different tests for different people. for me, it would be a test of patience, faith, love and trust. it's mushy i know, but all these i have been lacking ever since at the beginning of attachment...

peace out