If only a shooting star appeared right in front of me, I would make a wish - that I can go back to my primary school days. No, I need a time machine, not shooting stars...

I could still remember those days when I was still close with my brothers, playing playstation together and doing all kinds of silly things. Hide-and-seek, sleeping together in the same bed room though we had our own rooms.

Today, the situation in my family has taken a 180-degree turn. My relationship with my mom and dad are normal. But the relationship between my brothers and parents have worsened and are already at a critical point where severe of ties might be possible, especially the second one.

Pray together with me, there's nothing I can do already. My second brother is super hopeless, only God can save him. Something happened today at home, thankfully there were no police reports, or getting my mom arrested. If she was, I think I would have whacked him upside down and inside out. How can he do such a thing? Where is the importance of filial piety?

What's happening to my family?

Two blessed things I've experienced in the workplace today:

1. Two weeks ago, I don't know how my temp card got damaged, and a colleague of mine had to pay $42.50 for her replacement. My supervisor helped me waived the fee and I received a replacement temp card for free.

2. A colleague treated my supervisors, my friends and I to a curry fish head feast during lunch today! During that morning, I was still thinking of what I could eat with just $4 in my wallet. Then my colleague suddenly appeared and ask if we were interested for a lunch feast today. I thought that she won some money after last night's disappointing World Cup matches, but it was the shares that she had won. So she wanted to share this joy with us. Awesome.

Somehow, this week seemed to be series of surprises from God. I really pray and hope that more will come!

3. I was supposed to meet my brother for a jogging session at 8pm. But when I got home, I was too tired for anything, so I gave my eyes a rest and the next moment it was already 10.39pm. My brother was waiting for me at Macdonald's without his cell, and if I were him, this friendship would end by now. I dialed his mobile, he rejected twice. I sent him a text, and his reply was that he was initially frustrated and disappointed with me, but even before opening my mouth or reply to his text that I was sorry... He had already forgiven me in his text.

I wonder if I could actually do the same to him, if I was the one waiting for him at Macdonald's. I am guilty of what I've done, and super disappointed with myself. But yet to know that I have receive forgiveness from a brother whom I have failed him countless of times, that's one friendship that God has blessed me a lot.

Thank you Jesus.

I scored plenty of goals today, courtesy to the assists from my teammates. But creating a goal is difficult, I can't seem to perfect a nice cross or pass for them to score. Thankfully I can still run and dribble. Overall, soccer at NUS today was awesome~

I experienced a miracle today while travelling to NUS. Apparently my card didn't have enough to board anymore rides. And knowing that my account has $12 left, I knew I had to use the last $10 to top up my card. As usual I followed the procedures and added value to my card, when the receipt came out... I saw a $302 balance in my account! For your information, my pay day should be on Thursday. I was worrying the entire day in the office and throughout the journey to work, God always had to throw surprises at the right timing. Thank you God. (:

If only I could experience another miracle in my love life right now, may the right girl just pop up in my sms now.

I think after saying this, no girls would dare to sms me for the time being.

LOL

South Korea are totally in love with Portugal after their last night 7-0 demolition against North Korea! The World Cup competition has brought many surprises and upsets to our pockets especially, and the likes of France, Italy or even England might put a halt to their progress to the second qualifying round.

Back to work on Tuesday was definitely not motivating, but after staring at my bank account ($12), I knew I had to keep my faith and motivation driving on, because of the upcoming birthday celebrations in July. You know who you are brothers... Well I thought by trying a little luck in the match between Brazil and Ivory Coast would win me some quick money. Oh just forget about it. Gambling isn't actually wrong, but making the wrong decision... that's sin.

Recently I feel like I've been thrown into the wilderness again, and this time wandering without a compass is bad. So bad that I am gonna be stuck 40 days inside there. Help.

Comfort Zone.

Two weeks ago during the church camp retreat, my brothers and I prayed for God's love to shower on us, so that we would be able to step out from our comfort zone to accept and love "weird" people. God commands us to love our neighbors, enemies and ourselves. Honestly, we all have been depending on our worldly wisdom and human's strength to accomplish this purpose that we are called to fulfill. God answered our prayer, He has placed new faces in our midst, and then we start complaining to God: "Why him/her? Why not someone whom we can interact or communicate easier with?"

It was Fathers' day yesterday, put up a performance with brother Marcus during church service, and it was applauded with cheers from the crowd. Mission accomplished. A happy father's to all the dads out there in Singapore, and to God - our heavenly Father. Would there be a chance to perform outside in the society, such as community clubs or even in the prison?

One area of focus that I want to concentrate on would be - confidence. I realized my image is built on how I desire for people to look at me. It's tiring and I guess its also time to really sit back and reflect during the start of the 40 days fast & prayer. Irene shared on having a sense of identity and what integrity really meant in the eyes of God. If you asked, I believe that I have this sense of integrity, I mean it!

Often in my workplace, I have to move from one working cubicle to another as there are lots of space constraints in the office. In these different cubicles, my colleagues often put their coins and some valuables on their desk. I am always tempted to take the coins and buy coffee/tea during my unofficial break time, but thankfully I didn't.

During the submission of my time sheet, my supervisor would have to sign before sending it to Recruit Express. I asked him why he didn't wanna check if I had filled in the time sheet properly, he replied: "Aiya, I trust you la, there is no such need to check through thoroughly."

This also led me to an even deeper temptation - first get my supervisor's signature, then change the figures on the time sheet according to how I want it to be.

...

Sorry for the break down. Brazil just scored 2-0. Not in the mood for anything.

Cockles & Oysters

There were no pictures, but the drag race between an evolution x and a sirocco was stunning! The race lasted for 15 minutes, and it was way better than the Spain v.s. Switzerland match. Best of all, I got my debut joy ride in that blue beast to East Coast Park. (:

I am still in a daze at work after yesterday's supper at EC park - had oysters, cockles and beer with my aerospace pals. The rest were in Pulau Tekong, and would be coming out soon! Wonder how would they look like in their shaved heads. As for me, it would be quite worrying as my image would portray a look of wanted criminal.

A blessed birthday to Chessia Chen, who has turned 20 today. I've known her for a month already, and the first week was totally screwed up when she first joined the company. I still don't know when or what struck the turning point, but right now we can just talk about anything under the sun. Don't be alarmed people, she's already attached.

Tomorrow's supposed to be my last day. Why did I extend it?

The bad news: I got more shitloads of work, especially from one demanding boss.

The good news: I received compliments from the rest of my colleagues in the office - an efficient worker, flexible and able to turn the situation around, never fail to throw in surprises (late for work or buy herbal tea).

Sleepless

It's Wednesday, and I just received 3 encouraging links from Christina who has never failed to inspire us with her daily blessings to people in the midst of our society. I hope I was a blessing to my colleagues in the workplace too. Let me share with you what I did last Friday - as usual I headed back to the office late after lunch, and a colleague of mine was coughing super badly and she was sitting in front of my cubicle. As the sound of her cough became more and more worrying, I began to sneak out to Chinatown and bought her herbal tea. When I reached the shop, I looked at the prices and the stingy thought of mine struck me, "$3.50? Oh my tian, what am I doing? It's so expensive!"

Scene 2...

I reached back to the office carrying the $3.50 herbal tea and a sweet to neutralize the bitterness. Though she offered to return the money, I refused and continued with my work.

I guess, being a daily blessing to people can be fun. But I hope I can do something without spending la in the future... JUST KIDDING!

Back to reality, still single and available. If you think you want to be a daily blessing to people, you can always ask me out to catch a movie or something. Okay, males are also allowed... (:

It's the third day of the church camp retreat, and it's definitely gonna get more exciting. I hope that I would be able to last through the morning sermon and games. It's 3.30am now, yet still awake and singing songs in the room, while the brothers are still playing lan. There are many things that I am super unhappy with - the food, no room service, small swimming pool (or pond), no soft drinks. Night outings (Satay supper, durian feast) kept the mood neutral and motivated to dwell in this place, of course not forgetting my teammates and the people here too.

Beautiful Brazil~ Ole ole ole ole ole~~

Family day @ LOCCW was really an awesome event tonight, especially with all the performances choreographed and planned by our very own youths, for their parents! It's a pity both mom and dad were working, and they missed out, which made me quite disappointed. During the part where the youths started presenting their gifts and saying "thank you" to their parents, I looked around me only to find empty seats and myself. Maybe I did not pray hard enough for them to come, maybe I didn't pluck up more courage to ask them, looking upon these parents being loved and honored by their kids just made me felt envious.

It was the first ever performance with brother Marcus, and I must admit it was a totally last minute surprise when told by Wei Qian last Sunday that I had to come up with one performance during the event. Choice of song was selected on Tuesday, choice of dance was selected on Wednesday, practicing and re-composing the lyrics was on Thursday, which brings us to only less than 5 hours of practice before the event started. Overall, it was really well received by the special guests and it was really encouraging when the speaker Mr. Jason Wong mentioned that if we were to upload our performance on Youtube or Facebook, it would get a million hits! Credits to Yahweh. (:

Up next, church camp on Monday!

But, I suddenly have a lot of emotions running through my mind. Excitement, anxiety, contentment, confusion, happiness... I need some karaoke session therapy to vent them out.

Recently, I've been applying for unpaid leave for almost every week, its getting more and more addictive. It has become the new drug, and people around the office are having comments about me. Negative or positive, I am not affected by them, because I know I am always efficient in my work quality and productivity. The bad news however, lies in my punctuality. Punctuality is a responsibility that I've yet to take it seriously, even when I attend church services, I am late.

I've extended my contract with Building & Construction Authority as my colleagues are satisfied with my work efficiency, of course subtracting away the bad points such as sleeping on the office desk and drooling, long toilet breaks and being late for work. These are part and parcel of life in the government sector.

July 29th would be the day of enlistment in Tekong. Excitement or anxiety? I seriously have no idea, but I really hope there would be no cockroaches or ghosts when I'm inside.

We have already reached the halfway stage of the year. It's reflection time. What have we actually done during the past 6 months to mold a godly character within us? What were the good and bad that we went through?

What happens if you realize your good friend admits to you that he/she is a homosexual? Well, pastor Joseph shared with me his answer:

"Love him/her as a sinner and not their sins."

This I know, but how do I apply this concept/principle in my daily routines?

God, help me.