What's my last wish before I enter army? - A simple yet happy family.

Fuck me. I can't wake up on time. I procrastinate. I plan outings and I cancelled. I make friends disappointed all the time. I can't seem to love people properly.

Now even as I prepare to enter, shit happened in the family.

No I don't blame God, I don't blame anyone. I blame myself for being a fucktard.

Thank You for all these, I need to grow in You. Thank You for the cross and the price You've paid.

Thank You for this beautiful exchange, my life for Yours.

The greatest temptation of all, is lust. I need a breakthrough.

Thank God it's Friday. I will be going jogging with my brother Teck Yi, follow which I will be meeting Kok Chye to get my army stuffs. You know something? I have not blogged about my daily activities for a long time, most of my posts are reflective thoughts and mostly crap.

I was browsing through some of my friends' blogs and I was quite impressed, especially posts on their daily acts of love towards people. Continue to keep up the good work! As I am typing this post, I seriously want to sleep, but my dad wants me to settle his Iphone software, and I am losing sleep over this. Is this a way of showing love to my dad? Seriously tired and a bit of agitated, but I hope he will appreciate this.

Food recently has been an anesthetic for me, as I've been getting the pre-army stress. Hershey's sundae pie, finger food, oreo chocolate bubble tea has been flowing through mind everyday! And yes, they are without fail in my stomach in every meal. Talk about fasting, I've never did it ever since the first day. Yes I am struggling with my own flesh.

I just realized I just volunteered to lead worship for this Saturday. I am not yet prepared!

Genting

So suave even when looking at the menu

My first breakfast upon arriving at Genting!

My coolio brother!

A neat room partner

On the other hand... disappointed

Totally gay to the max

Inside the cable car

Don't mess with the cool kids

"First time sitting in the coach?"

As usual, acting cool and failing all the time

The cactus that I've bought for my supervisor

I've to stand against the odds - Tekong Island

It's all in the mind, mind over body. As the days are nearing, I have not yet prepared myself for stormy seas ahead. But thankfully the trip away to Genting was exceptionally awesome, especially with my brother Teck Yi. Pictures have already been uploaded in the Facebook, so you can go take a look at some of my hot bods pictures (Apparently he posted some of my topless pictures in the hotel room).

Fun time's over, now it's time for war.

Oh yeah, I screwed compass test up, totally. But meeting up with the ATFKERS, sweet. Plus another secondary school mate Samuel Sim wrapped the day up for me.

awaken my heart, unveil my eyes

A person who is driven by his feelings to achieve great things never lasts, and that person is none other than me. Procrastination is sweet, I can never get out of that. Will someone throw a long rope and get me out of this bottomless pit? I am starting to be afraid of the darkness inside.

I hate comments/criticism/taunts that discourage me, or to re-phrase, wake my idea up. I appreciate that some of you are trying to get me up and walk on the path of righteousness and just, and please continue to do that. Although at times, I may murmur some crude words under my breath, that's just because I cannot accept the fact that I need to change. I want to change, so please continue to hammer me with the correct thoughts to change my wrong thinking. Thanks a lot. If I need a breakthrough, I would need to break my ego first. Not egg.

I admire people who are straight forward, but when I meet these kind of people for the first time, and they say things such as "Oh my god, you mean you don't use tissue to wipe your mouth? That's disgusting."

At that very instance, you would wish that she was mute. But that's human nature I guess, that's my ego. I need to break it hard and really be humble if I want a breakthrough. All the thoughts of writing my future as the best right winger in loccw. It's total bullshit.

But ahhhh, it's for entertainment purposes, so I guess it shouldn't be a problem eh?

It's getting late, I need rest to prepare for today.

Good morning and night my friends.

It's Friday, and counting down 13 days. I was walking around town with my two buddies in the evening just now, and thought to myself: "How time flies. Everyone is growing up." But whether I have grown a lot in maturity, that is only between God and myself.

I've always imagined going through an interview, and this question would be thrown at me: "Share something about yourself."

How would I answer this question? I don't know how to describe myself, for 19 years I have been living, and it feels like living inside this shell of mine. Who am I? What am I doing here on this earth? Life is like a "tap-and-go" concession card, with each day passing without any meaning in it. And here comes the next birthday cake, you blow the candles, and the next thing you know, you are one year closer to death.

Home is a place of comfort, where I can spend my time with my mom and dad, and brothers. But it seems my brothers don't seem to appreciate it, and their attitude is making life worst at home day by day. If I could, I would bring my parents out and live in another home, a home of mine. Home cooked food is the best a taste bud could ever tasted. Nowadays, young women of our generation can't even differentiate salt and sugar, looks like I am set for life on fast food restaurants. I want to learn cooking someday, depends on my procrastinating mood.

No, I am not being emo here. Just have the sudden urge to pour some of my thoughts.

Sometimes going to church is good, but going there without the correct mind is wrong. Yes the songs are good, the sermons are pleasant to the ears. But the thing is, not practicing it and listening countless of times can be annoying. It's just me. Yesterday, I was reading through my testimonial during my first mission trip during 2008. Now it's 2010, I am back to my old self. Inventing a time machine is useless.

What I need is a breakthrough.

simple gifts~

Today I shown an act of love to some of my colleagues on my last day of work @ Building & Construction Authority. I bought "Thank You" cards and some chocolates for them, and a very nice cactus plant for one colleague whom I killed his previous cactus, due to my crazy working attitude until I did not have time to take care of his plant which was just located beside my desk. Once again, I am finally out of that place. If I didn't had to serve the nation, I might extend my stay there, but this time demanding a higher raise in my payslip.

My brother Teck Yi and I have already booked tickets and will be leaving for Genting on Sunday night. The only problem I am facing right now - He actually paid the trip for me due to only $20 left in my bank. That's the other side of life if you are actually without employment right now.

Honestly, I don't really dare to approach my parents for money as they have to feed my two younger brothers (one of them is a fucktard) and their living expenses. I still have some upcoming events which would involve more financial burdens. I cannot afford to work anymore, I need rest and more rest before my day at Tekong.

Life is hard, I will definitely work hard and earn lots of money so that I won't ever have the need to worry about a single cent. The only thing left to worry is being single.

No more gambling for me, I think that was also the reason why I am broke. It's a painful lesson learnt for my pockets.

If Yvonne has created an account for prayer requests, I want to create an account for financial requests. All proceedings shall be used to help the Noobthenick funds.

Today is the day, the end of my work with Building & Construction Authority. I am glad that I've learnt many things throughout the journey with my colleagues, experienced many funny moments with those temporary staff too. I thought today was going to be a rough time, but still, I've been through it and am still alive. I hope I would be able to leave the final lasting impression in that company tomorrow~

What would be the upcoming journey for me as of now?

The start of my army life. I guess thats the next chapter of my life, and I have a strong feeling that I might not be able to withstand those darkest moments ahead. It's gonna be a rocky one, plus with my physical status at the present moment, I might not be able to get through smoothly.

Maybe a getaway from Singapore should do the trick, with my brother TY.

You will never be alone, when there are no more heroes. God's love will guide you home, through it all. When you're tired and you stumble, He will carry you. When starlight falls, His love will carry you home, when there are no more heroes.

I'll see you again, I feel You walking beside me, I know I'll see you again.

In these darkest hours, I will tell myself I will see You again. In another few more hours, work is coming, and I am not looking forward to my own fears. Suddenly I am afraid of challenges, suddenly I am afraid of people. I need a getaway.

I need a breakthrough, damn it.

I stood in a Christian bookstore today, knowing that I had to, because I need to get back on my feet. Sin is pulling me away from You.

The temptation to FML is sweet, but its temporary. Get out get out.

Frustrated whenever and wherever I am. Be patient be patient.

Late and late and late. Be early and punctual.

Lie and gossips. Stop and be mute.

"Spiderman (nicholas) v.s. Dr. Octopus" in the World Cup showdown on Monday morning @ 2.30am. Since my nemesis chose Spain as the winner, I shall choose the opposition as my favorite and the score to be 2-1.

It was a tiring preparation and awesome celebrations with both brothers Choy and Chye last week on their 21st. Upcoming ones would be Eugene Teo, Yeoh Zhi Yan and Alan Lee. I need the tailor after this month to mend my holes on the pocket after that.

Air Force ranged me up this week and told me I had to attend a compass test before commencing on the interviews. Of course I am happy at this good news, but am I capable of doing the great? I need some guidance on this~

14th July, Wednesday would be the last day at Building & Construction Authority. I've yet to get a testimonial from them, should I? It's been a fulfilling 3 months with them, especially the training on the administration work.

Left wrist still recuperating, its been two months already. When can I officially train on my pull-ups? I don't wanna down PES. I need a miracle, GMH.

An octopus that can predict all the winning matches? It's just plain lucky, I am not going to believe in this raw sashimi for this upcoming Sunday final. I am going to trust in the parrot, who's rooting for Netherlands to destroy Spain. If Spain happened to win the world cup, I will never eat anymore eight-legged dishes as a form of protest.

Another 20 days to my overseas trip, I am not looking forward to it, seriously.

Screw my life now, stupid stomach flu.