20.08.08
i know i can, i know i can, cause i have Jesus with me! yes i can!
it's quite a neutral feeling even though it's two weeks away from the immersion trip. i am not sure whether i am excited at the prospect of being a student leader, after yesterday's heated argument with the aerospace gentlemen. to make an appointment with me before my flight, you can either email, text or phone me. i will be available for the next entire week. hahaha :)
yes it's the final paper tomorrow, but i am not mugging! i shall start after this post...
people are suffering everyday, even in our own society. nkt once mentioned to me that going for missions are a waste of time. "why should we go out to help people when we ourselves are having problems too? first solve our own problems then we can focus on going on missions to help those in need."
honestly i was quite disappointed in this answer/excuse. yes it's true that we have have our own problems to ponder on, but does that restricts us from reaching out to the unreached people? NO. it's a stand i have to make, not even the mountains are able to waiver my decision on becoming a missionary in the next few years. looking back at the above mentioned trip, and as i am typing this post, i suddenly got back that adrenaline urge to want to get out of town now. if we were to first solve our problems then reach out to the unreached, by that time armageddon would have come to annihilate every living thing in this world. it's an excuse, and we are being selfish.
i hope this would leave us to do our own self reflections... sometimes in life, it's not always about us.
your friendly neighbourhood,
spiderman
19.08.09
right after the final attachment presentation, i was touched by some of my classmates who waited for me at makan place.
and an argument took place in just a few minutes over my presentation.
i thought everyone was joking, and suddenly the situation became so tense up, and i felt everyone was against me.
yeah thanks for making it happened because the china trip is coming. i slammed the glass door which shocked everyone in the canteen. fortunately i did not got into any fights.
(after a few hours of sleep......)
looking at the incident above, i am just damn childish.
somehow, i have a feeling someone wants to see this happen within the class.
call me judgmental or sensitive, but if anyone tries to wreck the bond between me and my friends. you have a little harder.
push me abit more, and i might break your face in china. trust me.
the first to present, the first to impress, and the first to leave a lasting impression. i can't be arrogant though, God brought me through this entire week. i was guilty of not seeking Him during the lowest periods since this week and the past few days.
but i tell myself: "hang on spiderman, think of the bigger picture that God has planned for the upcoming road ahead. "
i will be starting to post my thoughts and recordings in wordpress. kinda addicted to it though.
i shall reward myself with more sleeping hours before starting on the next revision for the final test this friday, yeah damn pathetic. :(
time really flies, in a blink of an eye, 6 months have passed... life in the working society will be another difficult journey. oh well i shan't be too far-fetched.
come on! nicholas! you have to persevere and be humble.
17.08.09
i am still exploring wordpress so forgive me if you find this blog abit dull. anyway i just want to comment that i have finally finished my final report on the industrial attachment programme. my sister neo is still in the midst of 'chiong-ing' hers, oh well guess our dinner date would have to be postponed again.
one thing i like about wordpress is the way they format the writing style, also at the same time it brings out this adrenaline rush within me to want to post something here. maybe i am new to this environment, after being with blogger for so many years. looking back, i have written about 572 posts on my life biography.
someday when i have kids, i want to compile everything into an autobiography for them, so that they may know more about me through reading it. it's hard sometimes for parents nowadays to show love on their kids, maybe that's the reason why my brothers are causing a mess in the family, sometimes even worse than the typhoon in taiwan.
being in singapore is such a blessed thing, even though there were slight tremors due to the earthquake that hit sumatra, we stood strong.
i am blessed that i have my limbs and health, i am blessed that everything is provided, i am blessed that my weekly allowance is more than others. i shouldn't see the reason to complain, but it often happens. i must never take all these for granted. maybe i should remind those around me to cherish what they now and be contented, not be blinded by temptations around them. seriously, temptation is a very powerful tool that can turn the life of a man 360 degrees, and once you are hooked with it, its hard to get out. i wish i could get out of mine, and hopefully cover that dark pit with something so that i may never walk into it again.
if you are faced with temptations, how do you overcome it? well prayers are one effective way, the other method... i strongly discourage it - "walking into it to overcome temptation". that is bullshit, walking into it doesn't solve the problem, in fact you will become the problem.
damn random with my thoughts, i need to stop and start on my presentation slides.
till then,peace out
15.08.09
okay i am going to chengdu for an immersion programme, and china happened to ban blogger. so here i am using wordpress for the very first time.
i have managed to find my way through here, thank God.
recently this week has been a blow to me, i need to talk to someone i know closely. i realize friends aren't really the solutions. Calvin told me that as time goes by, friends are people whom you depend on, but the dependency level isn't that strong. looking at my situation now, i have no choice but to agree to his words.
now, i am on my own.
many times people tell me to pray and seek God, the truth is, i don't. many times i tried to cry and release all my emotions, and it failed.
Calvin once told me to give a serious consideration on choosing the right path in life, religion is some sort of a self-assurance when you are down on the bottom rocks. but what exactly is the right path? even if i chose the right one, will it be an easy one for me?
i want to experience God and listen to Him whisper to my ears, but somehow it doesn't seem to happen. my life right now after the attachment is advancing like a bullet train.
yes i want to see a change in my life, a good one. not a life being destroyed or ruined by my own hands.
i am really hanging on, and any moment if i let go, it's the end of everything.
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