"Being led by the Holy Spirit" is an effective phrase that will save your ass if you are caught unprepared. Prayer meeting was just awesome, along with the songs and prayers. Of course, most importantly was the "personal relationship" with God. Without this relationship, I think believe attending church or serving in the ministries would be deemed ineffective.
Last Sunday sermon's was about "Sowing & Reaping", it was kinda confusing initially, especially with the biblical names. I kept mixing "Asahel" and "Arshavin" (Arsenal player) together, and "Joab" with "Jacob".
But I had in mind what Pastor Daniel wanted us to reflect on in this season of Lent. Yes he kept mentioning about the season of Lent, I believed its a season of reflection for all of us, what have we been through in this journey of walk with God, what were some of the highlights and the lowlights of our adventure.
To summarize the entire sermon, it was about letting go. Not exactly giving up, but letting go. Letting go of what?
Letting go of the past, all that disappointment, hatred, frustration, feuds, debts (not financially) that have been stored up inside our hearts. As I am typing this post now, though I can't swear, my mind is full of negative thoughts, with all of them focus on my 2nd brother. I think my family would be perfect if he wasn't around, seriously and honestly.
Right now, at a time of 2.45am, he's still awake, blasting away the television and with the lighting on and etc, how are my parents going to work or sleep peacefully? For goodness' sake, this is not his home!
I cannot stand when he curses my mom and dad. I cannot stand when he takes money from them, and the moment he gets the cash, he begins to curse them. If my parents refuse to, he would attempt to steal from their wallets, which he had done before.
What kind of family deserves such a son? As an elder brother, I feel terrible and useless. Why? Because I gotta be a role model, and I can't kill him. I can only wish and hope he would meet with an accident and poof! That's it! A happy ending! :D
If I continue any further, I might as well just finish him off, right now.
......
I am feeling so childish, what's with the killing and whining? I am depending on my puny little human strength to find a quick solution, an effective method to cover up my misery and frustration within this family. I don't need any console or encouragement, what I lack now is that "posture of faith" and God's strength.
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
I need God's strength to carry me out from falling into that dark bottomless pit, and of course with continual and "unseen and unheard" supportive prayers from my friends.
After all, I am just like everybody else, an imperfect sinner.
Learning to let go is going to be very difficult when God puts such a person into my life. I am sure many of us are going through certain stages of letting go. Some are quick to let go, others are stuck in the same situation like me. It's good to know if there are people out there who are in the same boat as me, but it's even better if you have overcome your fear and let God take control of your heart.
Am I willing to let God take control of my heart ?
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