Scored A Hat Trick

James 1: 15

"Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin when it fully grown, gives birth to death."

I am thankful to God that I dragged myself to church, because the worship and sermon by Rev. Vincent was simply awesome. Yes, I re-read the book of Matthew last night, up to the part where Jesus explained about the seven deadly sins. After that, I headed to bed.

Today, God spoke to me through the sermon of the 3 deadly sins which were taken from the Old Testament, in the book of 2 Samuel 11: 1-15. Even the worship was beautiful, the selection of songs suited how I felt yesterday night. How I felt against those who didn't bothered to reply my text, how I felt against my brothers, how I felt against God.

Even though the soccer match was cancelled in the afternoon, I still scored a hat-trick, not goals but 3 deadly sins. Lust, complacency and murder.

I thought having lustful eyes was a gift in the past, but no, it's a sin. If you can look at women without any lustful desires, you are not a sinner. The truth is, men aren't good liars. In the bible, Jesus told the people to (gouge their eye/chop their hand) if it causes them sin, as it would be better rather than having the whole body to be tossed into the unquenchable fire.

Rev. Vincent sudden mention about porn really struck me in the heart. The similarity in porn and smoking/drugs is that they are bad for health. Porn causes memory losses and the latter causes lung/breathing problems. The only difference between them is you can download porn for free while you gotta pay for cigarettes and marijuana.

I'm a stingy person, so I don't belong to the smoker type. It's kinda obvious to know where I am standing at.

Yes, I admit I have been watching porn ever since I was secondary 2. All kinds of genres, except for gay. Honestly, you cannot talk about these kinda stuffs unless you have experienced it before. I know its disgusting, but yeah, better to be honest now in the eyes of God. Initially, it was not that serious, but slowly the buildup began and eventually I fell into it. I was sucked into this temptation to fulfill my lustful desires.

I have been stressing over this problem ever since the prayer meeting, when Pastor Daniel told us to find one corner and pray to God to listen to Him. I felt that this was what God wanted to me to do, just that I didn't have the courage till today. To overcome this sin, I have to face it and be honest about my problem.

Okay I am feeling very terrible and uneasy right now. I cannot expect my sin to grow any further, where it will eventually leads to death. I need your quiet prayers to help me through this problem and eventually I might even share a powerful testimony on overcoming this addiction of pornography.

I know there are many others out there who are also in the same boat with me. I don't have a genuine solution now, except to pray and fast about it. It's definitely difficult, but you and I just gotta hang on to Him. Allow God to re-light that fire within our hearts today!

As for murder and complacency, I shan't talk about that. I am too tired already. Good night reader.s